Why Forgive?

Because Jesus died on the cross, we are totally forgiven. He paid the price for our sins, so we can enjoy freedom and new life in Him. Without His forgiveness, we would be doomed to eternity in hell. With it we can enjoy intimate communion with Him. Forever.

As I celebrated Easter, I couldn’t help but notice the contrast between our world today and the benefits of Jesus’ gift to us. Unforgiveness abounds.

Name-calling, hatred, and personal destruction by targeted canceling are being used for self or agenda promotion. There seems to be no thought of seeking peace, much less forgiving. Instead it seems that animosity and hatred have spun out of control.

That’s sad, because holding unforgiveness and hatred is toxic. Nelson Mandela said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” He could have used “not forgiving” in place of “resentment.” It is poisonous to the one who drinks it.

Forgiving does not let the other person off the hook. Nor does it excuse a wrong or imply that an action was all right. Instead, forgiving someone hands that person over to the Lord for Him to deal with them. It transfers the burden and responsibility of justice from me to God.

The burden of holding a person until they “pay” for what they did—while in reality, they probably can never pay enough—robs the holder of peace and joy, and negatively impacts physical health.

Most importantly, not fully forgiving blocks our relationship with God. Furthermore, Jesus modeled forgiveness, and He told us to forgive.

While He was hanging on the cross, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Lk. 23:34). We are also told in 1 John that, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 Jn. 1:9).

If we follow Jesus and He has forgiven our sins, won’t we also follow His example and forgive others?

Peter struggled with this forgiveness thing. He asked Jesus, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” and Jesus answered, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (Matt. 18:21-22). That’s serious forgiving.

(For the rest of the conversation, continue reading in Matthew18:23-35.)

Matthew 5:23-26 shows that strained earthly relationships damage our relationship with God. Jesus said, “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”

The verses that follow the Lord’s Prayer reinforce the message that we are to forgive. Jesus continued, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matt. 6:14-15).

It’s hard to misinterpret that. If we want God to forgive us, we need to forgive those who offend us.

We like the quote from Luke 6:38, “Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” That verse makes us feel good when we put in our offering.

But, it isn’t just talking about giving money or even giving food to the poor. In context, Jesus is talking about forgiving. These words of receiving an abundance according to what you give follows immediately after words on judging, condemning, and forgiving. Jesus said, “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven” (Lk. 6:37-38).

I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all been wounded. We’ve all chosen to forgive. We’ve forgiven many people. Many times. Even some people many times—in spite of the fact that our sinful nature tempts us to hold grudges rather than forgive.. Our present culture reinforces the idea that we have a right to be resentful and to fight back.

However, the fact remains, if we want to experience righteousness, peace, and joy in Christ, we must choose to follow His example and forgive.

But, sometimes the wounds are deep and forgiveness is hard. At times, in spite of our efforts, forgiveness doesn’t seem to stick and the pain hangs around, returns, or bitterness creeps in.

If that’s where you are, consider the passages above and the importance of obeying what God asks of us. When you feel the weight lifted from your soul, you’ll be glad you did.

Tell the Lord you’re willing to forgive.

Ask for His help.

If needed tell Him you choose to forgive, speak words of forgiveness, and ask Him to make it real in your heart.

Also, check back. I’ll follow up with more on how to forgive.

Meanwhile, may the Lord bless you and give you faith, courage, and strength to obey as you seek to walk out your faith by forgiving those who trespass against you..

Do You Experience Sudden Conflict over Minor Issues?

Conflict often erupts unexpectedly. A minor misunderstanding can lead to a caustic response with further back and forth. Before you know it, strife fills the air. Relationships are often strained and families destroyed over minor issues that escalate out of control.

I can’t stand to be in the midst of such a clash, but more often than I’d like to admit, I’m partly to blame for the escalation. It happens before I realize it. If someone pushes against me, I tend to push back. Pushing back increases the conflict.

The Lord called us to be peacemakers. With that in mind, years ago, I posted on the refrigerator a small cross-stitched reminder saying “A soft answer turns away wrath” (Pr. 15:1). I hoped it would help me control my responses when I was challenged or offended.

At the time I couldn’t tell that it helped me control my tongue, but it did keep me aware of the need. Consequently, I think the Lord has shown me a key to solving the problem. Maybe it will help prevent such conflicts as well helping to de-escalate once tensions are flaring.

In 1 Samuel 17 when David’s eldest brother, Eliab, heard David ask what the reward would be for killing Goliath, he became very angry. He asked why David came to the battle and suggested that David had deserted the sheep to come. He also accused him of being proud and insolent (1 Sam. 17:26-28). Eliab challenged David in front of other soldiers.

The normal response to such an attack would be to push back, to defend yourself, and set the record straight. Eliab’s comments were a textbook set-up for strife, but that didn’t happen. Instead, David’s response eventually led to David being taken before King Saul.

David simply asked Eliab, “What have I done now? Is there not a cause (or question)?” (1 Sam. 17:29) .David knew he was innocent of the charges, but he didn’t try to defend himself. Neither did he blame Eliab or try to tear him down. He didn’t push back.

Instead, he asked, “What have I done?” The literal translation of “Is there not a cause or question?” is , “Is it not a word?” or “Do we not have a word?”

David was referring to God’s word that He would be their provision and protection. In Genesis 15:1, God told Abraham, “I am your shield and your exceeding great reward.”

But David didn’t even wait for an answer. He then changed the subject and asked someone else what would happen to the one who killed Goliath.Those around him heard David’s comments as statements of faith.

He had experienced God as his shield. While watching the sheep, he had killed a lion and a bear. Because Goliath was uncircumcised—not in covenant with God—David knew God would protect him and give him victory. His confidence in the Lord also gave him peace when his big brother attacked. He didn’t let it distract him from the important matter at hand.

To David, it wasn’t about him. He was not deterred from the truth that God would deliver Israel from Goliath because Goliath was challenging the children of God.

When we stand up and fight for ourselves (or our opinion, the truth, etc.), we proceed into the fray on the assumption that it’s about us. We react as if we have to protect our reputation or have to fix what we perceive as the problem. Conflict within us—which leads to pushing back—is caused by our self-centeredness. Basically, we’re thinking too highly of ourselves—and possibly denying God and His commitment to be our shield and reward/provision.

Our efforts to have a soft answer will continue to fail as long as we see Self as the solution. In Philippians 2:3 Paul said, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Likewise, when I had, “A soft answer turns away wrath” on the refrigerator, I was relying on Self-control to solve the problem.

Our normal vision is limited to our own perspective. We need the Lord’s help to look out for the interests of others and not have selfish ambition. We need to choose to humble ourselves, but we can’t change our hearts. We need God in all of life, even in learning to be lowly of mind so that we “esteem others better than” ourselves.

The answer is humility. Humility doesn’t elevate self. Humility trusts the fix to the Lord, and trusts Him to be our shield and our reward.

We have the perfect example to follow. Paul says it well.

“Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men, and being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross (Phil 2:5-8).

Jesus humbled Himself. He gave up equality and reputation and chose instead to be a bondservant.

Are you tired of conflict and tension over minor issues? The answer is humility.

Jesus said we’re to take up our cross daily to follow Him (Lu. 9:23).. In other words, we take up an instrument of death. We die. Every day. We die to self-defense, and selfish ambition. When we are dead to self, it is not difficult to consider others as more important than we are

The good news is, as we die to self, the conflicts will decrease.

The really good news is that the Almighty God will reward us accordingly.

Because Jesus humbled Himself, “God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, . . . and every tongue confess Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (Phil. 2:9-11)

If our goal is peace instead of conflict, and we choose to follow Jesus’ example to reach that goal, we won’t be exalted like Jesus, but our reward will be greater than we can imagine.

Combatting the Enemy’s Secret Weapon

We are at war. In last week’s post, Satan’s Secret Trap, we saw how Satan tries to destroy joy and peace in our relationships by stirring up judgment between us and important people in our lives. It is a major strategy to defeat God’s children.

Image result for image of marching combat boots When we hold onto judgment, it grows in our hearts like a dark cloud. It leads to bitterness, making us, well, bitter—to ourselves and to others. The sourness from judgment is damaging. It drags us down, destroying relationships with family, friends, and co-workers.

It also affects our relationship with the Lord, making it more difficult to worship, to hear or see Him, and to daily walk in His strength and grace. It robs us of love and life.

Consequently, Jesus told us not to judge, warning that we will be judged in return. (Matt. 7:1-2).

Paul told the believers in Roman, “In whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things” (Rom 2:1). He then asked, “Why do you judge your brother?” and added, “for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ” (Rom. 14:10).

He told the Ephesians, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:31-32). As bad as this list of negatives sounds, they are all things that grow from judgment, often without our knowledge.

Nobody wants these things in his heart. We don’t wake up one day and decide to give the enemy permission to steal our joy and peace and wreck our relationships. We want to live in the righteousness, peace, and joy that is available to all who are children of God.

However, it’s not always easy to simply quit judging because you decide to. Therefore, the next step is to learn how to combat a judgmental spirit.

Steps to fight a judgmental spirit:

Take the log out of your own eye (Matt. 7:1-5). The other person may be in the wrong, but you have no right to judge, neither can you help them, as long as your vision is being blocked by sin in your life. Deal with yourself first.
1. Ask God to search your heart and to show you any unrighteousness in your heart (Ps. 139:23-24).
2. Repent of sin in your life, including taking God’s place as you judged the other person/people (Acts 8:22-23).
Forgive the other person for wrong(s) they have done.
1. Forgive them in your heart and before God, so that God will forgive you for your sins (Matt. 6:12, 14-15).
2. If it will not cause harm, ask their forgiveness for wronging them. If tensions have been strong and obvious in a close relationship, this could be important, greatly reducing the time it takes for an evil-for-evil relationship to be restored (Matt. 6:23-24).
Pray and give thanks for them daily (Matt. 5:44).
1. Bless instead of judging. Bless through praying for God to bless them, but also seek the Lord for a special way to bless the person–through serving or a gift (1 Pet.3:8-9).
2. Give thanks and guard your mind from negative thoughts. For each negative/critical thought that comes to mind about that person, think of two or three things that you are thankful for about that person. (Phil. 4:8, Eph. 6:18-20).
Be still. Wait on God. Work on your own heart (your responsibility) and trust God to do His work in you and in the other person (God’s responsibility). It will likely take time to completely surrender your heart for change. Only then will you begin to be successful in changing your thought patterns, so be patient!
Trust in the Lord. He wants the best for you and desires that you be freed from the bondage of judgment and bitterness even more than you do. You can trust in Him.

He has allowed the other person/people in your life for a reason. Could it be that they are tools to shape you into His image? Could it He is allowing you to go through this hard time so you can experience greater freedom, fuller life, and richer communion with Him than you’ve ever experienced before?

The freedom and life you will find is worth the battle. Endure. Fight to the end for kingdom life, trusting the Lord to do His work in you.

Satan has been defeated. The war has been won. You don’t have to be weighed down because of the enemy’s wiles. You can reign in life through Jesus Christ and enjoy righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.

———————

The story of my struggle with judgment and bitterness and how I overcame it is available through the free e-book, The Judgment Trap, available for download in the side bar at the top of the page.

How to Stay Hopeful When Things Seem Helpless

Do you know someone who is on the path to destruction? Someone making the wrong choices in life and unwilling to listen to counsel—or unable to overcome addiction so they can make reasoned choices.

It’s heartbreaking to watch them self-destruct. If you’re close to the situation, you feel helpless as you watch and can do nothing to halt their steady decline.

We celebrate the fact that God gives us free will . . . until we want to take control of someone we love in order to rescue them from self-destruction. All efforts are futile. There’s nothing you can do if that person doesn’t choose to listen.

Nothing but pray, seeking God’s mercy and intervention.

There are many situations where you are helpless to fix the problem, times of sickness, financial stress, relational problems, and more. Times when you’re easily overwhelmed by the circumstances and find it difficult to keep going.

If you aren’t careful, it can affect you too. As you grieve your loss—of hopes, dreams, relationship, productivity, even life–it robs you of peace and joy. If you let it, you’ll be pulled into the vortex of the difficulty.

If you remain focused on the problem, trying to figure out what you can do and how you can help, the darkness of helplessness and hopelessness will engulf you.

Jesus said, “if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matt. 6:23). That’s what the enemy wants, for us to lose sight of the Light and walk in darkness.

Don’t let the enemy pull you down. Several simple steps will help you live in victory, even in the midst of the trial.

Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12), and the source of our light (Eph 5:14). Furthermore, He called us out of darkness and into His light (1 Pet. 2:9), and told us to seek Him (Mt. 6:33).

As you seek God, your eyes will be toward the light, allowing your body to be filled with light—with hope, strength, faith, peace. When your soul is weighted down, turn your eyes on Jesus to let the light in and chase away the darkness.

You can’t ignore the problem. It’s too much in your face and/or too deep in your heart. When darkness begins to invade, bringing fear, confusion, helplessness, anger, hopelessness, guilt, or . . ., run to the Light. Gaze into Christ’s marvelous face.

If you want to walk in daily victory, gaze at the Lord and glance at the problem throughout the day. Don’t give the darkness a chance to creep in. Live with you gaze on Him.

God is bigger than any problem that we might face. Give Him all your worries and cares. He has won the victory.

Taking the problem to Jesus doesn’t guarantee it will work out the way you imagine, but He will not leave you (Mt. 28:20). He will not let the burden be greater than you can stand (1 Cor. 10:13), and He will strengthen you for the journey (Ps. 31:24).

Furthermore, you can be confident that when things don’t go your way, it’s because He has purposes that are beyond our understanding (Is:55:9, Rom 8:28). When things seem overwhelming to us, later we can often see how He worked good out of the devastating trial.

Second, remember that God is bigger than the problem. Think of times when He has been faithful in your life—times when He rescued you or when he worked good out of what seemed bad. Think on the times He was faithful in the lives of Bible heroes: David and Goliath, the miracles that freed Israel from Egypt, Daniel in the lion’s den, and so forth. God is sovereign. He has power over all, and He is faithful.

Third, ask the Lord for a rhema. Ask Him to speak to you and listen for His answer through His Word. Read the Bible seeking His Word for you for NOW, the verse or the phrase that jumps off the page and speaks to you, filling you with hope. Then hold onto that Word when your faith begins to falter.

Memorize it so it becomes part of you and will be quick to come to mind. It will be your salvation.

God said, “My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart; for they are life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh” (Prov. 4:20-22).

In one particular relational struggle, God told me, “Don’t return evil for evil, but give a blessing instead, for you were called that you might inherit a blessing” (1Pet. 3:8).

Another time, He said, “Fear not!” (I was terrified of what I imagined for my loved one.), “Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, . . . for I will fight for you, and you will hold your peace” (Ex. 14:13-14). (I was worried sick about how to “fix” the situation, but God told me to be still. When I began to fret, I held onto this verse and God did fight for me. He took care of it.)

Our hope is in the Lord. Not in ourselves. Not in other people. Not in the circumstances. If darkness of helplessness or hopelessness threatens to steal your joy and peace, run to Jesus. He is our hope and the author and finisher of our faith (Heb. 12:2).

“Isaiah says: ‘There shall be a root of Jesse; And He who shall rise to reign over the Gentiles, In Him [Jesus] the Gentiles shall hope.’ Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 15:12-13).

Are You Listening?

Image result for image of listening ears Listening? I’m tired of listening. I’m tempted to block some people because their pressure for me to conform to their way of thinking wears me out. Protests, shouting, and strong language make me want to close my ears and turn my back.

Even people with compatible viewpoints try my patience when they push hard and feel manipulative, as they try to force their opinion or agenda.

Force. That’s the problem. When someone pushes me, I want to push back, or to turn away.

Either reaction deepens the divide. Whether between individuals, political parties, or nations, pushing widens the schism.

In the political world, protests have become the means of communication, with name-calling, fact-twisting, and fear mongering used as weapons of war. Deeper divides are the fruit of such tactics. It doesn’t bring peace any better than a husband and wife screaming and yelling at each other. It only leads to deeper hurt and a wider rift.

Healing, peace, and unity come from laying the “anti” sentiments aside and settling down to really hear the other side. True listening seeks to identify hurts, fears, dreams, and goals of the other person.

The problem often stems from opposing ideologies and goals, but compromise is impossible without real dialogue. Indeed, influencing the opponent to change is also impossible if we maintain an us-versus-them attitude, where our goal is to defeat them rather than to work together.

Paul Tournier, a Swiss physician, and author of To Understand Each Other, said, “Listen to all the conversations of our world, those between nations as well as those between couples. They are for the most part dialogues of the deaf. Exceedingly few exchanges of viewpoints manifest a real desire to understand the other person. No one can find a full life without feeling understood at least by one person. Misunderstood, he loses his self-confidence, he loses his faith in life, or even in God.”

I would add, “Misunderstood, he fights harder to be heard and to be understood.” When both sides feel misunderstood, the fight intensifies. Furthermore, the ability to hear diminishes, decreasing the effectiveness of all the effort put into being heard and understood.

Proverbs sums it up well. “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him” (Prov. 18:13). You might say, “He who yells and screams to be heard (without first hearing the other side) is wasting his breath. His efforts are futile and lead only to shame.”

In fact, the result often leads to negative results. Proverbs 15:1 states that “a harsh word stirs up anger,” whereas “a soft answer turns away wrath.”

Do you want to dial down the anger and soften the rhetoric. Remember that “a soft answer turns away wrath.”

Softer, kinder rhetoric would be nice, but peace and working together in unity would be even better.

We probably won’t find that until the other side knows we’ve heard them and that we care. A soft answer, rather than anger, on our part is a good start, but we need to listen to what they’re saying.

If we don’t make an effort to listen, we will continue to have dialogs of the deaf, where nobody pays attention to the other side. We will continue to be isolated and alienated.

Listening doesn’t mean agreement in every case, but sometimes it leads to a point at which there is agreement. It does mean that I lay aside my agenda long enough to seek understanding and to show respect and caring for the other person.

Ask, “Can you help me understand?” and “In addition to that, is there anything else?” If they know they’ve been heard, they’ll be more open to hear you.

Until that happens, how will we ever be able to work together rather than spend all our energy fighting?

By listening, you can make a difference.

Listening says, “I care. You are important. Your hopes, fears and opinions matter because you matter.”

Are you listening?

Finding Peace in the Midst of Conflict

Are you as tired of discord and a combative attitude as I am? I’m weary of exaggerations, name-calling, and lies to put others down and gain advantage. I hoped after the election we would find a measure of peace, it hasn’t happened. In fact, it seems more discordant because our very system of government is being challenged when it’s time to seek unity.

What is a Christian to do? How do you find peace in the midst of conflict and strife?

Sticking my head in the sand by fasting the news is tempting, but I haven’t resorted to that yet, because I feel like I can pray more specifically if I’m informed.

However, I’m beginning to doubt that it helps my pray. Watching news disturbs my peace.

The hostility, lack of civility and respect, and the open war on authority remain shocking. It seems we’ve lost our moors as a nation, and maybe as a world.

Where are we headed? More importantly, what can we do? How can we maintain our peace and hope in the midst of the uncertainty and strife?

We need to First, know that the Lord God is sovereign. He is the ruler of heaven and earth, and He is firmly in control. He’s not surprised or overwhelmed by our circumstances. I believe He allowed it to draw us to Himself.

In the Old Testament, time after time the children of God turned their backs on the Lord and their nation suffered strife and destruction. Many times, God warned that it would happen long before it did, such as telling Abraham that his children would be enslaved for hundreds of years.

Later, Jeremiah was used to warn of the destruction of Jerusalem and captivity of the people. God allowed it and through it all, He worked out His plan. He used the hard times for good.

In fact, He told us that, “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28).

We can maintain peace in the midst of conflict through resting in Him as He works His purposes out.

Second, we need to seek Him in the midst of the chaos. Any report we hear tells only part of the story. Consequently, we don’t fully understand anything that is happening, and we likely only have one side of the story.

Therefore, we need to be careful that we “trust in the Lord with all [our hearts], And lean not on [our] own understanding; in all [our] ways acknowledge Him, [so that He can] direct [our] paths (Prov. 3:5-6).

If we heed our own understanding, we’ll likely make a fool of ourselves and add to the confusion, if not to the strife.

However, if each of us obediently follows the Lord, He will guide. Like an orchestra, we’ll be assigned various parts and play at differing times for different effects. But if we’re following the same director, it will be pleasant, harmonious, and will accomplish His purpose.

Third, listen to God. Seek Him in His Word. Philippians 4 offers good advice that has guided me when I’m tempted to straighten somebody out. It also gives a couple of guidelines for maintaining peace in the midst of conflict. Through it, I’m learning to represent God and find peace.

^“4Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!

⁵ Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.

⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;

⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy– meditate on these things.

⁹ The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you” (Phil. 4:4-9).

May we all learn to follow these precepts, and experience His life and peace–even in the midst of turmoil and strife.

You Are Called to Inherit a Blessing

Image result for image of reading a will I have had a difficult time narrowing down my blog topic this week. I’ve rejoiced that I live in America, a nation that exercises the freedom and right to vote for our leaders and that follows through with a peaceful transfer of power. Even though I’m not enthusiastic about the choices we had in voting, I marvel at our system of government, and contemplated sharing my heart..

Simultaneously, I’m concerned about the direct attacks on our democratic system by those who don’t agree with the results. I’ve been tempted to discuss the need for prayer or the need to withhold judgmental attacks on those who disagree with us. I also thought of issuing calls for civility, respect, and unity. If I covered it all, it would quickly become a book—if I could write quickly. 🙂

As these thought rolled in my head, I was reminded of the verses that God used in my life when I was drowning in misery because of judgment and bitterness toward others.

He said, “all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing” (1 Pet. 3:8-9).

As a nation, we have inherited God’s blessings. However, if we continue to attack each other instead of showing compassion, love, and courtesy, I’m afraid the blessings we have enjoyed could dry up.

I’m not covering any of those. My next post will be on something totally different that is stirring even more deeply, but I wanted to at least mention these things, because they are important if want to heal the schism in our land, find peace in our midst, and continue in the blessing that we have come to take for granted–and maybe even consider our right..

Where’s the Joy and Peace in the Midst of Grief?

Christmas is a favorite time of the year as we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Even those who don’t believe in Him celebrate by giving, and see the season is a time of joy and peace.

But for some, it’s not so easy. Peace, joy, and celebration elude them.

I have three close friends who’ve lost their spouses within the last six months. Thanksgiving was difficult. Christmas is already harder without their loved ones in the family circle. We’ll attend another funeral the end of the week and just received news of still another friend’s death.

A father was recently told he had 4 to 5 weeks to live, but he’s bravely embracing the days he has left. How do you celebrate as you look forward to loss? A widowed mother who just learned her son is in jail–likely headed to prison–is wondering about his future while aching to have her family all together for Christmas.

I’m not personally affected in my daily life through any of these losses, but I ache for my friends. Where is Christmas peace and joy in the midst of loss, sorrow, and grief?

The loss and pain are real and can’t be ignored. Traditions and trappings of the season bring back memories when least expected, reviving the ache, reinforcing the sorrow. Grief overshadows all of life.

The experts say it’s good to grieve and that it’s necessary to move through it. If you try to suppress it, it takes longer to move on with life.

But, how do you move on when the joy of the season is offensive to the ache in your heart? How do you embrace joy and peace in the midst of pain and sorrow?

I don’t have an answer. I haven’t lost a spouse, so I can only imagine the depth of the pain. But as I ache with my friends in this joyous season, I am encouraged by familiar phrases from Isaiah 53. It gave me comfort when I heard it a few days ago.

Jesus was a man of sorrows. He was acquainted with grief. “Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows” (Is: 54:3-4).

The verses are familiar, but it comforted me to be reminded that my friends are not alone in their grief. Jesus understands. In fact, God wanted to be sure we know that He not only understands, but He is carrying their griefs and sorrows with them, and with me as I mourn with them.

Those overwhelmed with grief are not alone. Jesus is in the yoke with them, pulling the load.

The Babe whose birth we celebrate willingly took on flesh and entered into the pain and sorrow of this world to redeem us. He understands suffering, loss, and pain. Furthermore. He is Immanuel, God with us. He will never forsake us, especially not in our loneliest, lowest moments.

That doesn’t undo the loss of a loved one, but confidence that Jesus is by our side, carrying the load can bring peace that passes understanding and even glimpses of joy in the midst of the pain of grief and sorrow.

You Choose: Which Do You Want? Tit for Tat, or a Blessing?

“It takes a pot to call a kettle black.” As a child, I puzzled through it to understand that a pot calls a kettle black because he’s quick to see the black, be Image result for image of a cast iron kettle cause he is also black.

The color could just as well be yellow, blue, red, or purple, because it isn’t talking about color. It refers to a characteristic held by the pot and kettle. Iron pots and kettles are black. They could have just as well used something else as a characteristic, but the first thing you see is black, so that communicates.

In human terms, you might say it takes a self-centered person to label someone else as self-centered. It takes a cheat to spot a cheat, and a liar to accuse someone else of being a liar.

While it’s true that some people’s weakness is so evident, it can be seen by all, it seems there is some truth to the notion that the person who is vocal about a fault in another, often has the same weakness.

Personally, I’ve found that when I get ticked off at someone for not being grateful (for instance) when I step back and think about it, I realize I’ve been ungrateful too. Or insensitive. Or self-centered. Or . . .. Seeing this tendency makes me think it may be common to others.

Furthermore, God warned us to take the log out of our own eye before we try to take the splinter out of someone else’s (Luke 6:41-42). I’d say that’s further indication that there’s truth to the notion that “it takes a pot to call a kettle black.”

In this season of increasing political attacks and mounting racial tensions, it seems we have pots and kettles to spare, and I’m tired of the tit-for-tat and name-calling. I’m also weary of the division it’s causing in our nation.

I’m aware that the purpose is to gain advantage by tearing the other side down. It is also a way to divert attention away from personal weakness. However, I wonder if it does more harm to the speaker than to the target.

It also reminds me of insights I gained when I was in the middle of a conflict and God got my attention through His Word.

Name-calling is an attempt to over-power someone with words. It tarnishes the reputation of the speaker as well as the target, but it also spreads much further than that. It poisons the minds of all who hear it.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s politicians vying for advantage, people ranting about a particular ideology, individuals responding to social media posts, or tensions expressed on the job or in the home, name-calling is destructive. It creates enemies and tears down individuals, relationship, and even cultures.

It needs to stop, but once caught up in it, it’s not that simple.

When you’re targeted, it’s tempting to push back, to hurt “them” just as badly—or maybe worse. But that’s the fleshly response, and it fuels the fire.

Instead, we need to pour water on the fire. And God tells us how.

He said, “Let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead” (1 Pet. 3:8-9a).

Instead of seeking to dominate, we need to show brotherly love. We do that through words that are harmonious, sympathetic, kind, and humble. That’s hard when we feel the need to defend ourselves and hold our ground.

Our natural reaction is to fight back, but with God as our shield, protector, and defender, we don’t need to counter attack. We can trust the Lord with our defense.

We don’t need to call the “kettle” anything, we can give a blessing instead.

The end of the verse offers hope and motivation to help us choose to press through our inclination to attack back. After telling us to give a blessing instead, Peter adds, “For you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Pet. 3:9b).

God wants to bless us. Indeed, He called us so we could inherit a blessing. Furthermore, He knows getting caught up in tit-for-tat robs us of our blessing, so He gives instruction to help us escape the trap.

We get to choose. To help us make the life-giving choice, He had Peter emphasize the directive a bit more clearly in the following verses that offer more direction and hope.

For, “Let him who means to love life and see good days Refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking guile. And let him turn away from evil and do good; Let him seek peace and pursue it.

^“For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, And His ears attend to their prayer, But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.

“And who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good?” (1 Pet. 3:10-13).

When tempted to strike back, to keep up the tit-for-tat and call the kettle black, ask yourself if you’d rather flex your muscle or receive a blessing from God.

Staying Upright in an Upside Down World

While speaking of the condition of society in the world today, I’ve often heard the phrase, “Everything is upside down.”

Increasingly, evil is being called good and good is being put down as evil, resulting in confusion, conflict, and strife. The airwaves are filled with hatred and vitriol that was completely unacceptable just a few years ago. Within America, the rancor is intense. and the rapid acceptance of immorality and corruption is alarming.

And yet, such is common to man. A surface knowledge of history reveals similar cultures in Greece, Rome, and more who went through moral decline shortly before the fall of the civilization.

In the history of the Jews we can see they had frequent periods of upside-down values. They turned from God and worshipped idols, which led to low morals and a disruption of peace and God’s blessing.

Isaiah lived in such a time, and he issued a warning which revealed a source of the problem.

“Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness . . . because they have rejected the law of the Lord of hosts, and despised the word of the Holy One of Israel” (Isa. 5:20,24).

Isaiah listed issues that lead to an upside down world.

Calling evil good. Seeking to fulfill fleshly desires from things beyond the boundaries that God has set, we begin to call evil good and let it dictate our standards and define what we consider acceptable.
Rejecting God’s law–because it doesn’t reconcile with our choices in life. Next, we begin to hate the Word of God.
If we hate and reject God’s Word, we also hate God.

These things don’t happen overnight. It takes time for them to permeate a culture. It may seem sudden, but the roots go back further.

In 1963 freedom reading the Bible and praying were officially greatly restricted in schools in America. The 1960s were also a time when the sexual revolution was openly embraced by a segment of society. For those things to become acceptable publicly, the turn from God and His laws had to have begun earlier.

We’ve continued the downward spiral. A recent Barna Research Report reveals that in the last six years there has been a dramatic decrease in Americans’ interest in the Bible. The Brana Group deduced that, “The steady rise of skepticism is creating a cultural atmosphere that is becoming unfriendly to claims of faith; the adoption of self-fulfillment as our culture’s ultimate measure of good is re-orienting moral authority.”(1)

Barna’s research further supports Isaiah’s proclamation that the rejection of the God’s Word leads to an upside down world, i.e. one that holds up “self-fulfillment as our culture’s ultimate measure of good.”

In God’s Word, we find ultimate Truth. Truth that is sure, reliable, stable, and dependable. It doesn’t change with the change of public opinion.

In the 60s, situation ethics became popular. Right and wrong or good and bad was not based on absolutes, but on the situation. More recently, many think the individual decides what is right and good, depending on their own perspective and desires.

Such truth is not dependable. It shifts and is impossible to define for the culture as a whole. It is not sure, stable, or reliable. and leads to insecurity and chaos.

The Hebrew language uses pictures to describe what they want to communicate. Their word for truth reflects concepts that last. Truth is firm, sure, reliable, stable, faithful, true, and even nourishing and supporting. Truth enfolds the very things we are missing in our society.

When an individual declares that there is no absolute truth, but holds to a truth that is relative to the individual and the situation, it erodes the foundation on which they stand. They are no longer stable, dependable, sure, reliable, and so forth.

The same is true for a society–except more so. Without absolute truth, you add the complexities of insecure, unstable people (who have different definitions of what is right or true) trying to work together—while each is seeking peace and security according to their varying definitions of what that looks like. Consequently, everybody pulls in different directions and no progress is made.

To resolve the mess, we need an agreed upon source of right and wrong, good and bad, life and death. An agreed upon source of truth.

The next question is what can I do about it? If this is true, how can I right an upside down world?

I must start with me, with myself.

With my understanding of truth.
With my knowledge of God’s Word, where we find the ultimate Truth.
With my relationship with Jesus, the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
With my responsibility to teach my children and lead them to the Source of Truth.
With my opportunities to be a light in the darkness, showing the love and sharing the life that comes from knowing the Source.

“Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (Jn. 8:31-32).

Even in the midst of an upside-down-world, we can be set free if we know the Truth.

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(1) https://www.barna.org/research/faith-christianity/research-release/the-bible-in-america-6-year-trends#.V2lIS5MrLdQ

Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships