What is True Love Like?

I never questioned my parents’ love, even though ours wasn’t a family that frequently said, “I love you,” or spoke any similar words of affirmation. Neither did we hug a lot, but we were family. We worked together, played together, and prayed together.

We were also spanked when we needed it. Furthermore, we straightened up if we were pushing the boundaries and Daddy cleared his throat. We didn’t want to disappoint our parents and we were secure because we knew our boundaries. In short, love flowed through our family even though it wasn’t spoken. I was blessed.

Furthermore, My husband tells me he loves me. I never have to say to him, “You told me once, but I forgot; do you love me, or do you not?” We’re a team. We’ve also experienced intimacy that is different than with my parents. Our love is special and I appreciate Valentine’s, but it’s not like we need a special holiday to confirm our love and commitment to each other.

However, our love doesn’t begin to compare to the love our heavenly Father has for us, or to the love that Jesus demonstrated by taking on the form of man, walking in the midst of sinful mankind, and hanging on a cross to carry our sin for us. His love is perfect. Pure. Dependable. Non-discriminating. Unwavering. Sacrificial. Selfless. Unfailing.

In contrast, the world seeks love that is self-fulfilling. One that feels good and satisfies personal needs or desires. The need for love is valid, but that need cannot be filled by seeking temporal, fleshly satisfaction.

God told us repeatedly to love one another, and that we’ll be known by our love, but He doesn’t sign His letter with an easy, “Love you!”

Instead, He demonstrates love in all He does. He established a world with order, beauty, and life. When sin broke the relationship between God and man, He chose a special people to be His own. When they couldn’t live up to His calling, He sent His Son to live among us to demonstrate what love looks like. He then allowed Jesus, His perfect Son, to die a cruel death to pay for our sin, to trade places with us so we could share life in relationship with Him.

He demonstrated love in life and death, through teaching, healing, and sharing truth and intimacy. He sacrificed so that we might have abundant life. True love is concerned for the other person and is willing to suffer, sacrifice, and to lay down one’s life for another’s good. God is love and He is the source of all true love.

Valentines and chocolates are fun, and it’s good to be reminded to express love to special people in our lives.

And yet, there’s more.

Lord, thank You for Your great love for us. Help us to remember Your love and to show true love to others. Not just once a year, but always. Make me more and more like you. Help me to surrender so You can make me an instrument of love, and You can love others through me.

Everyone Can Celebrate Valentine’s Day

Image result for image of love

Happy Valentine’s—to all who feel a little left out on Valentine’s Day as well as all who have a sweetheart to share your heart with. It’s good for couples to be reminded to be sweet, kind, and loving to each other. After all, in most marriages, the honeymoon wears off entirely too quickly, such that niceties like chocolate, roses, and nights out are forgotten.

A large portion of our population does not have a special someone to share love with on this day, but I don’t believe that should keep anyone from taking advantage of a day of love.

The history of Valentine’s Day is uncertain because legends abound concerning its origin. However, we do know that it was not originally a day to celebrate romantic love or the giving of cards and gifts. So, why not stick with the theme of love and adapt it for our own personal celebration?

Since we all need to be loved, and Jesus told us to love one another (John 13:34), we can all use the day to express love to others—to close friends, or to not-so-close acquaintances who need to know they’re loved. I know someone who is having a small anonymous gift sent to all her co-workers, with a note “You are loved and appreciated.” She’s sending herself one too in order to remain hidden as the giver.

Another option is to focus on the One who loves us most, meditating on what it means to be loved by the King of kings and Lord of lords. We could even take the time to write a love letter to Jesus, telling Him how much His love means to us, and how much we love Him in return. How often do you tell Jesus you love Him?

I can’t help you with those ideas, but one thing I do every Valentine’s Day is remind myself what it means to love others. I’m so self-focused that I tend to excuse myself from some of the points that make up true love. I need to remind myself—at least once a year—what it really means to love.

In just four short verses in 1 Corinthians 13, God told us what love, real love, looks like. And it’s not chocolates, roses, or even steak on the town. Neither is it just for sweethearts.

Love

suffers long (is patient) and is kind;
does not envy (is not jealous);
does not brag (parade itself),
is not arrogant (puffed up) (v. 4)
does not behave rudely (unbecomingly/dishonoring to others),
does not seek its own (is not self-seeking, doesn’t demand it’s own way)
is not provoked (resentful, easily angered)
thinks no evil (doesn’t take into account a wrong suffered, keeps no record of wrongs); (v. 5)
does not rejoice in iniquity (wrong doing, in evil, in unrighteousness), but rejoices in the truth; (v. 6)
bears all things (always protects),
believes all things (always trusts),
hopes all things (always hopes),
endures all things (always perseveres). (v. 7)
Love never fails. (v. 8) (1 Cor. 13:4-8)

I’m blessed with a valentine that is “a keeper,” as they say. I’m truly blessed by my husband. However, I’m thinking he’d be more blessed if my love more closely fit God’s definition of love than Robert will be by a from-the-heart card and a steak dinner by candlelight. What do you think?

Furthermore, if I can die to self enough to have this kind of love for other people, it will be a blessing for the rest of my family, as well as my neighbors, brothers and sisters at church, and those I meet on the street or I seek to serve.

The best outcome of having God’s love is that through my life, the Lord would be glorified. That is worth celebrating, and is certainly a never-failing love.

Love

It is Valentine’s, time for cards, flowers, chocolates, and dinner out. Time to express love and caring. Time to say, “I love you.”

But then, when isn’t it time to show love and caring? Cards and gifts are mandated by culture on this special day.
For many, they are necessary in order to maintain the status quo in a relationship, to avoid having a major confrontation.

But, they are not necessary to express love.

God tells us how to show love and caring in 1 Corinthians 13.

Love:

is patient,
is kind
is not jealous;
does not brag
is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly;
does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.

Love never fails; (1 Cor. 13:4-8, NAU)

Our efforts to say, “I love you,” through Valentine’s are empty if we do not express God’s love throughout the year. I’d like to adapt the preceding verses to illustrate my point. All italicized words are my substitutions in the verses to relate the verse more directly to our Valentine’s Day efforts.

If I give cards filled with flowery words of endearment; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, my words mean nothing.

And if I give flowers, chocolates, and a romantic dinner out, laying aside all my plans to be with the one I love, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. (1 Cor. 13:2-3 adapted).

Cards are thrown away or put away. Flowers die. Chocolates and romantic dinners are soon gone. In contrast, “faith, hope, and love abide (endure), but the greatest of these is love” (1 Cor. 13:13).

As we celebrate Valentine’s this weekend, let’s strive for consistent enduring love.

Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships