Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships

Basic Training

Image result for image of army trainingI’m grateful my children are reared, on their own, and doing well. I miss them and wish they weren’t so scattered so I could still share daily life with them. However, I’m grateful they’re thriving adults because parenting isn’t easy.

Today, life’s temptations are more alluring and more deadly today than they were just a few years ago. That reality leads me to pray for my children and their children faithfully, but it also raises questions about Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”

I know parents who sacrificed to rear godly children only to have them get swallowed up in the world. How do you train a child? How do you know the way he should go?What are the basics of training?

While studying my Sunday School lesson this past week, I just may have found the answer—a good start toward it anyway.

In John 16, Jesus is sharing His heart with His disciples in the Upper Room. They’ve eaten their final meal together before He is betrayed and hung on a cross. In this intimate setting, He’s trying to prepare them for life after He is gone, just as we seek to prepare our children for life without us.

In chapters 13 through 15, Jesus repeated some basic tenants several themes. It’s clear that He really wants His disciples to understand what He’s telling them.

Then, in the first verse of chapter 16, He said, “”These things I have spoken to you, that you should not be made to stumble.”

He knew that when tribulation came, His disciples might stumble if their faith wasn’t strong—and they would face a crisis very quickly. Consequently, He shared the truths that would strengthen their faith, girding them up so they won’t trip when trouble comes.

Bingo. That’s what I want for my children and grandchildren. And for yours too. Too many of our young people are stumbling when they leave the nest and face adversity. Too many are tripped up by the world.

Many adults are stumbling these days too. We all need our faith strengthened, just as the disciples did. In chapters 15 and 16, Jesus states that the world will hate those who follow Him, so we can count on adversity. We need to be prepared, because it will come in some form.

Jesus gives foundational principles that His disciples need in order to maintain a strong faith. I’ll try to be brief as I list some of the topics Jesus focused on as He bid His disciples good-bye. Most of these were repeated several times.

Chapter 13:

  • Jesus washed the disciples’ feet and told them to serve one another as He served them–sacrificially, in humidity (13:3-17).
  • Jesus told His disciples to love one another (13:31-35,15:17) “as I loved you” (15:10, 12)

Chapter 14:

  • Jesus prepared them for His departure and said He was going to prepare a place for them to come to Him (preparation for difficult time included reason for his leaving and a reason for hope) (14:2-3, 28)
  • Jesus is the way, truth, and life, the only way to the Father (14:6). That’s foundational knowledge for any time we’re confused, or feel lost or lack purpose.
  • Jesus is in the Father and the Father in Him. If we dwell in Him we will do greater works than He did. (14:9-11)
  • If we ask anything “in His Name” He will do it. (14:12-14,15:16) (“In His name” is covenant talk. For greater understanding of what it means, read The Great Exchange: Bound by Blood.)
  • Jesus will send the Helper/Comforter/Holy Spirit to abide with us, guide us, and help us walk in righteousness (14:16, 26, 15:26).
  • He will manifest Himself to those who love and obey Him. (14:21) Indeed, He will make His abode with them (14:23).

Chapter 15

  • Jesus is the vine, we are branches. If we abide in Him, we will be fruitful. Without Him, we can do nothing (15:1-8).
  • If we obey His commands, we will be Jesus’ friends (15:14).
  • The world will hate us because it hates Jesus, and He called us out of the world (15:18-21) (Isn’t it nice to be reassured that the problem may not be that we caused offense?)
  • Even though the world hates and persecutes us, we are to bear witness to them of Jesus (15:27). (After all, the reason they hate is because they do not know the Father [15:21].)

In summary, what keeps us from stumbling? Our relationships are key.

  1. Our relationship with Jesus and with our heavenly Father:
    1. Love Him and obey His commandments
    2. Abide/live in Him. Stay connected to the vine, and thus bear fruit.
    3. Seek Jesus. He is the way, truth, and life. When in need, run to Him—He has covenanted to care for our needs.
    4. Listen for the Holy Spirit’s guidance and partake of the help He offers.
  2. Our relationships with each other. We need to:
    1. Love one another as Jesus loves us.
    2. Serve one another. In humility laying down our lives in sacrifice to each other (in daily service, not just being willing to die.)
  3. Our relationship with the world
    1. Expect contempt and hatred.
    2. Bear witness to Jesus’ love and life so they will know Him and He will receive glory.

Simple. For someone who has grown up in the church, these are all familiar tenants. There are no surprises—either for us personally or for how we need to train our children.

And yet, we too are easily influenced and distracted by the world, making it hard to consistently follow through. In truth, we can’t do it alone because it isn’t natural to our fallen nature.

That’s probably why Jesus repeated them so much and why all these points focus on relationships, beginning with our relationship with God.

If, as we train our children—and ourselves—we keep our focus and priority on developing our relationship with God, we probably won’t have to worry about stumbling. After all, if that bond is strong, we will be holding His hand, and He will see us through.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Rewards of Discipline

The job of parenting is constant. Even simple instructions need to be repeated over and over before they are learned. As parents, we seek to be patient and persevere because of the rewards we desire for our children, but the task isn’t easy.

It doesn’t matter whether the lesson concerns “don’t touch,” “eat your vegetables,” or “look before you cross the street,” lessons aren’t learned with just one simple instruction. It takes many repetitions. Parents of toddlers look forward to the day whteen and-parenten children are older and all those lessons are past. Parents of pre-teens and teens long for the days when instruction was as simple as in toddler days.

Training children is demanding. Many things take a long time to teach.

I’m sure God would agree. After all, He has more children than we can count. Many times a day, He probably shakes His head and says, “Will he/she never learn?”

One problem with learning a lesson is understanding when to apply it and how. For instance, teaching a child to respect his elders, it’s more complex than it might appear. It seems straight-forward to teach fundamentals like “obey and don’t talk back.” But that involves the will, so it isn’t a simple thing to learn.

However, that is just the beginning. The child must then understand that it applies to more than Dad and Mom. There’s also Grandma, teacher, baby sitter, and occasionally someone else. Each situation is different. The child needs to learn whom to obey—and when.

But that isn’t all. We haven’t even touched on the idea of having an attitude of respect. Or that we need to show respect to all people. At all times.

The same difficulties of learning exist with God’s children. Take the area of trust. The Lord is our Creator, Father, Shepherd, Stronghold, Bulwark, and more. His ways are perfect and His love is pure. He is worthy of our trust.

We know that, and yet, we have difficulty learning to trust Him in all things at all times. (At least I do, and I believe I’m not alone.). For instance, when finances are tight, rather than turning to God, we feel that a solution depends on us. Often, relief doesn’t come until we look to Him, seeking Jehovah Jirah to provide.

When demands on our life are great, and it seems we can’t carry on or do what is demanded of us, we fret and stew because we are inadequate. We waste energy with the burden and lose sleep from worry, all while God is waiting. Finally we trust and He carries the burden with us.

Then when health concerns arise, we feel totally helpless, and likely hopeless. There is nothing we can do but suffer. We’re slow to apply trust when we see no solution. Meanwhile, God is waiting for us to let Him carry us through the storm.

It seems that learning trust in one area does not automatically carry over to us trusting in another area of our lives. If we look at the Israelites in the wilderness, we see that God miraculously provided water for them. However, when they needed water again,  they fussed at Moses rather than trust God (Gen. 15:23-25; 17:1-3). Even when trust deals with the same area of our lives, we are slow to learn.

Without trust, there is no peace unless everything is going our way. If and when we trust the Lord with and in every day life, we are at peace—even though the our situation seems difficult at the moment.

In Proverb 3:11 it says, “the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in,” I’ve tended to think of that discipline as referring to correction or rebuke. The original Hebrew word includes correction, but it also means instruction. Our loving Father continues to instruct, to train us in righteousness. If we constantly look to Him and are quick to learn, He will bless us.

As parents, we understand the need for perseverance and patience. As children, God’s children, we need to understand how to “cease striving and know that [He is] God” (Ps. 46:10a), and “commit [our] way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He will do it” (Ps 37:5).

Instead of embracing lessons in life, we tend to grumble about the discipline. It might help us cooperate more fully if we look at the rewards listed in Deuteronomy and Hebrews, rewards that we receive from being disciplined by the Lord. Knowing God’s purposes might help us gain peace in our lives.

“Thus you are to know in your heart that the Lord your God was disciplining you just as a man disciplines his son.Therefore, you shall keep the commandments of the Lord your God, to walk in His ways and to fear Him.

 For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing forth in valleys and hills; a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive oil and honey; a land where you shall eat food without scarcity, in which you shall not lack anything; a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills you can dig copper.

 When you have eaten and are satisfied, you shall bless the Lord your God for the good land which He has given you.”  (Deut. 8:5-10)

“And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.”

” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? “If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!

“Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it (Heb. 12:5-11).

Life has challenges, but we can be grateful that our heavenly Father uses them to train us, because discipline has rewards that make the challenges worthwhile.