Combatting the Enemy’s Secret Weapon

We are at war. In last week’s post, Satan’s Secret Trap, we saw how Satan tries to destroy joy and peace in our relationships by stirring up judgment between us and important people in our lives. It is a major strategy to defeat God’s children.

Image result for image of marching combat boots When we hold onto judgment, it grows in our hearts like a dark cloud. It leads to bitterness, making us, well, bitter—to ourselves and to others. The sourness from judgment is damaging. It drags us down, destroying relationships with family, friends, and co-workers.

It also affects our relationship with the Lord, making it more difficult to worship, to hear or see Him, and to daily walk in His strength and grace. It robs us of love and life.

Consequently, Jesus told us not to judge, warning that we will be judged in return. (Matt. 7:1-2).

Paul told the believers in Roman, “In whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things” (Rom 2:1). He then asked, “Why do you judge your brother?” and added, “for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ” (Rom. 14:10).

He told the Ephesians, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:31-32). As bad as this list of negatives sounds, they are all things that grow from judgment, often without our knowledge.

Nobody wants these things in his heart. We don’t wake up one day and decide to give the enemy permission to steal our joy and peace and wreck our relationships. We want to live in the righteousness, peace, and joy that is available to all who are children of God.

However, it’s not always easy to simply quit judging because you decide to. Therefore, the next step is to learn how to combat a judgmental spirit.

Steps to fight a judgmental spirit:

Take the log out of your own eye (Matt. 7:1-5). The other person may be in the wrong, but you have no right to judge, neither can you help them, as long as your vision is being blocked by sin in your life. Deal with yourself first.
1. Ask God to search your heart and to show you any unrighteousness in your heart (Ps. 139:23-24).
2. Repent of sin in your life, including taking God’s place as you judged the other person/people (Acts 8:22-23).
Forgive the other person for wrong(s) they have done.
1. Forgive them in your heart and before God, so that God will forgive you for your sins (Matt. 6:12, 14-15).
2. If it will not cause harm, ask their forgiveness for wronging them. If tensions have been strong and obvious in a close relationship, this could be important, greatly reducing the time it takes for an evil-for-evil relationship to be restored (Matt. 6:23-24).
Pray and give thanks for them daily (Matt. 5:44).
1. Bless instead of judging. Bless through praying for God to bless them, but also seek the Lord for a special way to bless the person–through serving or a gift (1 Pet.3:8-9).
2. Give thanks and guard your mind from negative thoughts. For each negative/critical thought that comes to mind about that person, think of two or three things that you are thankful for about that person. (Phil. 4:8, Eph. 6:18-20).
Be still. Wait on God. Work on your own heart (your responsibility) and trust God to do His work in you and in the other person (God’s responsibility). It will likely take time to completely surrender your heart for change. Only then will you begin to be successful in changing your thought patterns, so be patient!
Trust in the Lord. He wants the best for you and desires that you be freed from the bondage of judgment and bitterness even more than you do. You can trust in Him.

He has allowed the other person/people in your life for a reason. Could it be that they are tools to shape you into His image? Could it He is allowing you to go through this hard time so you can experience greater freedom, fuller life, and richer communion with Him than you’ve ever experienced before?

The freedom and life you will find is worth the battle. Endure. Fight to the end for kingdom life, trusting the Lord to do His work in you.

Satan has been defeated. The war has been won. You don’t have to be weighed down because of the enemy’s wiles. You can reign in life through Jesus Christ and enjoy righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.

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The story of my struggle with judgment and bitterness and how I overcame it is available through the free e-book, The Judgment Trap, available for download in the side bar at the top of the page.

Do Unto Others

This past week with grandchildren was a special treat, but the three-hour lay-over in Atlanta made an exhausting return trip. Robert and I stopped to visit over a nice, leisurely meal to catch up.

Robert chose a rib-eye to celebrate, but was disappointed in the quality of the cut.

When our server stopped by to see if everything was all right, we said yes, but Robert added, “You might mention to the cook that this rib-eye is a bit tough for a rib-eye.”

The water offered to take it back for another one, but Robert insisted that it was fine, but “was tougher than you’d expect a rib-eye to be, so the cook would probably want to know.”

Shortly afterward, he told us he had mentioned it to the cook. We had further conversation and even shared some ideas for grilling steak.

Near the end of the meal, he returned to the table and said he’d talked with the manager, and was told that we could have a discount on our ticket or have a free desert. He continued, “I don’t do that for everybody. Some people are really ugly, but y’all are good people and were so nice, that I want to do whatever I can to serve you.”

We didn’t ask for special treatment, nor did we expect it, but we received it anyway. This is a simple situation. The reward is minor, but the principle isn’t.

We received special treatment because we “were so nice.” We didn’t do anything special, we simply treated our server with respect, and we showed interest in him as a person.

I’m much like our server. When someone treats me well, I tend to want to do something for them. If they are harsh and demanding, I’m tempted to be harsh toward them. I resist internally, even when I try to act graciously.

If we love out neighbors as ourselves (Lu. 10:27)and treat others as we want to be treated (Mt. 7:12), we will be nice to them. We’ll treat them with respect, be interested in them as people, and will listen to them. We won’t always be offered a discount on our meal, but we will sow peace and good will. Consequently, there will be reward.

I was recently with a family that shows respect to their children in such a way that caught my attention because it is unusual. They listened carefully to their children and responded graciously. They were kind and gracious in their tone even when rushed and distracted. I couldn’t help but notice their reward. It was evident in their children.

The children respond with quick obedience and with respect. They play together peacefully and help each other. They do their chores with enthusiasm and without constant reminders. It was amazing.

They are children and are still in training. I’m sure there are bumps in the road, but the pattern has been set by the parents. They require discipline, but they are kind, caring, and respectful toward their children. And they are reaping what they have sowed.

The same principle applies with a spouse, a co-worker, a neighbor, or a disgruntled sales clerk. We can set the tone for relationships.

It’s really simple. All we have to do is obey the Word–love our neighbor and treat him or her like we’d like to be treated.

Simple, and yet sometimes it’s so hard, because we walk in our shoes. Without God’s help, we only see from our perspective, holding our hurts from the past, insecurities, and weaknesses. We must look beyond those things. We need to step into their shoew to always be sensitive, showing love and compassion.

That need is good because it makes us always dependent on our Maker. In order to relate to those around us well, we need to die to self, take up our cross and follow. Daily. Throughout the day. It’s a life style. (See Mt. 16:24-25 and Mt. 10:38.)

As I child, I learned, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Mt. 7:12). I understood it was a good thing to practice. I even understood that’s how I wanted to be treated, and that it led to good relationships.

I didn’t understand how hard it can sometimes be to live it out. It can feel right to expect, and even demand, a tender piece of steak when you pay extra to get one–much less when more important matters that go wrong.

But Jesus did not demand that things go His way. He saw with compassion and treated others with love and respect. If we follow Him, we will do unto others as we want them to do to us.

If You Don’t Talk It Out, You Just Might Act It Out

I’ve had a busy, stressful few weeks. For years, Robert and I have been care-takers of his elderly father. He was once a hard working, fruitful missionary. In two years, he moved from independent to being totally dependent on others for everything. Recently, weakness, instability, and confusion marked further rapid decline.

It has also increased our responsibility, stress, and fatigue. Our sleep was interrupted nightly, and we had to be alert twenty-four hours a day.

Last Tuesday morning we got a report that he probably wouldn’t last until morning. Family traveled in from other states to be with him. Finally, Wednesday night his hopes were realized when he met his Savior and Lord face to face.

As we waited for the end, our house was filling up with out-of-state relatives. Stress mounted with added responsibilities, decisions, distractions, and commotion. Our relatives pitch in and help and are congenial and considerate. They are a huge blessing and I couldn’t ask for better kin or better help.

I mean, really. I didn’t have to prepare meals, clean, or determine who was going to sleep where. They took care of many of my responsibilities.

But my stress built anyway. Consequently, inwardly I was reacting negatively to their sacrificial service. I wasn’t ugly, but neither was I warm and appreciative. My answers were short. My attitude stank. I wanted to be alone.

I felt I needed space—desperately.

That night, I confessed to my husband—even though he was one of the ones I was reacting to. I could see that my reactions were not realistic, that their service was out of hearts of love, and was also very much needed by me.

I understood and was grateful, but I also reacted negatively—until I confessed.

When I got it off my chest, my whole attitude changed. I became truly grateful and joyful. The Lord’s grace and strength were amazing the rest of the week.

But all I did to turn things around was talk about my struggle. I confessed.

Richard McAfee, a dear pastor and friend, often said, “If you talk it out, you don’t have to act it out.”

It took less than five minutes to talk it out because I already knew I was being unreasonable. But it made all the difference in the world.

Those few minutes changed my attitude. And more. It alerted Robert and he was particularly sensitive and caring the following days. In the midst of a stressful situation, that’s a precious gift.

Without that short conversation with Robert, I would have been tied in knots all weekend. However, because I talked it out, I didn’t have to act it out.

Instead, I was constantly amazed, even overwhelmed by the mercy and grace of God as He gave us strength and provided through loving family and friends.

Sometimes, the easiest way to solve relational problems is to nip them in the bud before they develop. Bringing internal struggles to the surface allows you to sort them out before they are expressed in cutting words or a disastrous explosion.

If you see trouble coming, you don’t have to act it out. Instead, look for an opportunity to talk it out.

Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships