What is True Love Like?

I never questioned my parents’ love, even though ours wasn’t a family that frequently said, “I love you,” or spoke any similar words of affirmation. Neither did we hug a lot, but we were family. We worked together, played together, and prayed together.

We were also spanked when we needed it. Furthermore, we straightened up if we were pushing the boundaries and Daddy cleared his throat. We didn’t want to disappoint our parents and we were secure because we knew our boundaries. In short, love flowed through our family even though it wasn’t spoken. I was blessed.

Furthermore, My husband tells me he loves me. I never have to say to him, “You told me once, but I forgot; do you love me, or do you not?” We’re a team. We’ve also experienced intimacy that is different than with my parents. Our love is special and I appreciate Valentine’s, but it’s not like we need a special holiday to confirm our love and commitment to each other.

However, our love doesn’t begin to compare to the love our heavenly Father has for us, or to the love that Jesus demonstrated by taking on the form of man, walking in the midst of sinful mankind, and hanging on a cross to carry our sin for us. His love is perfect. Pure. Dependable. Non-discriminating. Unwavering. Sacrificial. Selfless. Unfailing.

In contrast, the world seeks love that is self-fulfilling. One that feels good and satisfies personal needs or desires. The need for love is valid, but that need cannot be filled by seeking temporal, fleshly satisfaction.

God told us repeatedly to love one another, and that we’ll be known by our love, but He doesn’t sign His letter with an easy, “Love you!”

Instead, He demonstrates love in all He does. He established a world with order, beauty, and life. When sin broke the relationship between God and man, He chose a special people to be His own. When they couldn’t live up to His calling, He sent His Son to live among us to demonstrate what love looks like. He then allowed Jesus, His perfect Son, to die a cruel death to pay for our sin, to trade places with us so we could share life in relationship with Him.

He demonstrated love in life and death, through teaching, healing, and sharing truth and intimacy. He sacrificed so that we might have abundant life. True love is concerned for the other person and is willing to suffer, sacrifice, and to lay down one’s life for another’s good. God is love and He is the source of all true love.

Valentines and chocolates are fun, and it’s good to be reminded to express love to special people in our lives.

And yet, there’s more.

Lord, thank You for Your great love for us. Help us to remember Your love and to show true love to others. Not just once a year, but always. Make me more and more like you. Help me to surrender so You can make me an instrument of love, and You can love others through me.

Where Are All My Children?

Yesterday, we celebrated the life of a 95-year-old mother of eight children. Her final words were, “Where are all my children?”

She loved her children, so her words weren’t surprising because it was typical of her when she was in better health. She enjoyed having her children near. When I filled in for them and sat with her in the nursing home, she always asked where her children were.

What stood out to me at the funeral service was that I heard those words as if from the mouth of God. It was like the Lord was asking, “Where are all my children?”

Ms. Lydia loved her children, but it doesn’t compare to the perfect, pure love that our God has for His children.

Why would He ask, “Where are my children?” After all, church doors still open on Sundays, and you can still find sermons on the TV and over the internet. Besides, God knows everything. He knows where we are.

But, do we know where we are? Maybe He wanted us to consider the question.

One time when Jesus was teaching, parents brought children to Him, but the disciples rebuked the parents and tried to send them away so He wouldn’t be interrupted. “But Jesus called them to Him and said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God” (Lk. 18:16).

Children gathered around Jesus’ knees is a picture of how our heavenly Father wants us to gather around Him. He desires a close, intimate relationship. Going to church every Sunday is not enough to experience that closeness. Not even if we teach Sunday School and sing in the choir.

Our Father wants to be first in our lives. He is God. He is to be preeminent. First.

Our problem is that we are easily distracted by life. By responsibilities and pleasures, triumphs and struggles. Things we see and do—as well as things of the world around us—capture our attention. Before we realize it, those things move into first place. They separate us from God.

However, the things that happen within us may be a bigger problem. Unforgiveness creates a strong barrier between us and God. In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus said, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt. 6:14-15). If God doesn’t forgive us, we can’t draw near to Him, making our worship meaningless.

Likewise, if we are embracing sin, while identifying as a Christian and trying to appear spiritual, we fool ourselves if we think we draw near to God. The Lord knows our heart and “He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart” (1 Cor. 4:5b).

Other things that separate us from God include bitterness and anger, immorality, greed, gossip, slander, evil speaking, judging, pride, and even independence.

Anything that we elevate above God or that seeks to redefine who He is separates us from Him. We admire an independent, “self-made” person, but if our independence leads us to think we don’t need God in any and every situation, we’re denying Him, what He has done for us, and what He wants to do through us.

Our enemy, our culture, and our fallen nature all make it easy to fall into one of these traps that separates us from God. When that happens, we blend in with those of the world, lost in the commotion.

Then, our heavenly Father asks, “Where are all My children, the ones I love?” He bids us come to Him to be cleansed from our sin.

“And the Spirit and the bride say, ‘Come!’ And let him who hears say, ‘Come!’ And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely (Rev. 22:17).

“Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Who is the man who desires life, and loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil, And your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry. The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, To cut off the remembrance of them from the earth” (Ps. 34:11-16).

“Return, you backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings. Indeed we do come to You, for You are the LORD our God” (Jer. 3:22).

“Serve the LORD with gladness; Come before His presence with singing. Know that the LORD, He is God; it is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; we are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations” (Ps. 100:2-5).

Where are all God’s children? More importantly, where am I, and where are you?

Christmas Is for the Kids

Betty decided not to “do” holidays this year. It’s too soon after her husband’s death. She didn’t have the family over for Thanksgiving like they’d always done. It just wouldn’t be the same without John.

Instead, they met at her daughter’s house. John kept coming up in conversations, but his smile and his laugh were missing.

Betty had already told them that she wasn’t doing Christmas either. In fact, she wasn’t even going to decorate, except maybe put the wreath on the front door.

Then a granddaughter appealed. She said, “Gram, can’t we have Christmas at your house? Without Pop, it’s not the same anywhere, but it won’t seem like Christmas if we aren’t together at your house. Can’t we come?”

Image result for image of christmas tree Betty put up a tree and lights in the window. Yes, it’s hard. With John gone, there’s a big hole. It’ll be hard no matter where they gather, but she’ll host the gathering as in years past.

She’s keeping up tradition to bring the family together and ease the loss for her kids.

Love for the kids is propelling her to sacrifice and go beyond her personal comfort. As I’ve prayed for Betty this season, I’ve realized that’s what Christmas is all about.

“God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son” (Jn. 3:16). It was for His kids. Because He loved (loves) them so.

In all their best efforts, God’s children couldn’t measure up, God sent His Son to show them the way to live. More importantly, Jesus made a way for those children to fellowship with the Father for eternity, not just for an annual tradition.

And there’s more. He spread out His arms and expanded the family. Whoever believes in Him is adopted as children. Jesus is the first born of many.

Christmas is about giving that flows from a heart full of love. Sacrificial love, demonstrated when God so loved the world that He gave His Son so that whoever believes in Him can be part of His family.

He gave the greatest gift. For His children. That’s me. And you, if you’ve accepted His gift. Image result for image of children gathered around the manger

Whether your earthly family is intact, or whether, like Betty, your heart is torn because a loved one is missing, I pray that you know the love of the Father who gave His Son so you could be His child and live with Him forever–not just come over to celebrate a special day. May you feel the security, peace, and joy of His embrace throughout this holiday season.

As the saying goes, Jesus is the reason for the season, but God sent us Jesus so we could be His kids.

A Son Was Given

I helped change our church sign for Christmas. Gathering the letters one at a time, led me to mediate on adoption and on Isaiah 9:6. “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given . . ..”

Many sons are given these days. Mothers who are children themselves aren’t prepared to tackle the full-time demands of a baby or for guiding them into adulthood. They often give their innocent babies up for adoption.

Most of those mothers are torn apart when they make the decision that their baby would be better cared for in a family. There are exceptions, but most give up their infants because they want the best for them. They do it out of love.

Over the years, they track their child’s birthdays, watch other children who are the same age, and dream of what their child looks and acts like. Most continue to hold their babies in their hearts. even though they will never see them again.

Adoption usually brings life and joy to the child and to the family that enfolds it. However, recently, I spoke with a mother who gave up two babies and continues to long for them. With tears in her eyes, she said she was glad she did it, because she knows it’s best for the children.

But it is a sacrifice to give up a child, to release someone who is part of you.

At Christmas, we celebrate the birth of Jesus, the son that our heavenly Father gave up. As I pulled the letters for the sign, I began to think about what it takes to give a son.

The almighty, the perfect Father in whom all wisdom dwells, gave up His son. He is the perfect father, the model for all fathers, but He gave His son.

Furthermore, He didn’t give just any child. He gave His only son, a perfect child, one born without sin. A Son Who had been with Him from eternity, One He knew would please Him in everything.

Two other words in the verse stood out to me, “to us.” “To us a child is born. To us a son is given.”

God gave His Son up—to us! Like many parents today, He was motivated by love. John 3:16 say, “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.”

But, there is a marked difference from us.

God didn’t make the sacrifice because it would be best for His son. He did it because He “so loved” the world. He loved you and me so much that He gave His beloved son to and for us.

That love is deeper than we can imagine. You see, there’s more.

When God gave that baby, born in a lowly manger, to us He knew that the day would come when His precious Son would be despised, rejected, and die a cruel death on a cross. God sent His perfect son to suffer a terrible death at our hands.

And yet, “to us a Son was given.”

Why? A holy God can’t fellowship with sinful man, and He wanted to have a relationship with us, so He provided a way to clean us up. He did it so we can be adopted as his children.

He did it because He loves us.

In return, He simply asks us to love Him in return. He offered his pure, faithful always-with-us love, asking only for our wavering, contaminated love, which is polluted with self-centeredness.

That is something to celebrate! But it is also incomprehensible. We’re not worthy of such a gift.

And yet, God did it. He gave His son to–and for–me and you. Because he loves us so much.

Unto us a Son is given. Seeing this more clearly deepens my desire to know my heavenly Father, to know His love, and to love Him in return.

I desire the same for you. This Christmas, may you and yours be wrapped in God’s perfect love.

Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships