Was this Alzheimer’s?  In 1999, I was often in a fog, forgetful of things said and done. Time concepts, simple vocabulary, and names eluded me.

One hot August day, I was shocked to see firemen sitting in front of the firehouse in shorts. I thought it was early March, rather than late August.

Once, I thought my name was Pat, not Kay.

While taking off in an airplane, I couldn’t recall the name of the town I was from, what my house looked like, what airport I was flying from, or how I got there. I had no recollection of home.

Was I experiencing early-onset Alzheimer’s? At just 53-years-old, I was terrified of what the future might hold for me–and my husband. Desperate for a miracle, I prayed, seeking strength, courage, and understanding of what God wanted.

The Lord spoke as clearly as if I’d heard the words. He asked, “If you get to the point that you can’t do anything, and you don’t know anything except My love, will that be enough? Am I sufficient? Will you be content if all you know is my love?”

My measure of worth was too tied up with how productive I was. I doubted I could be content if I was not productive.

After wrestling with God, I conceded, “I’m willing to be content to only know your love, but I need for you to teach me how.”

I discovered that mercury poisoning was destroying my mind. When the mercury was removed, my cognition greatly improved. God gave me a second chance.

However, headaches began to trouble me, increasing in frequency and intensity until my days were dominated by migraines. Doctors couldn’t identify their source or find anything to help. Headaches ruled my life and greatly curtailed my productivity. For four months, I had only one full day and two half days when I was headache free and felt okay.

God’s question returned, “Am I enough? Can you be content with just knowing My love?”

God has been with me. I’ve experienced His love, grace, and strength in the midst of migraines. They often lifted or subsided long enough for me to fulfill commitments.

But, knowing His love day by day is not the same as knowing I’d be content with His love if I was totally dependent others.

I know I grow through hard times (Jas. 1:2-4). The Lord is with me, and will never leave or forsake me (Heb. 13:5-6). He works all things for my good and His glory (Rom. 8:28-29), and He is faithful and trustworthy (Deut. 7:9).

And yet I waver. Can I be content to simply know His love?

In His mercy, God has given me a second reprieve. Unsolicited advice from an acquaintance led to the cause of my headaches and successful treatment. They are almost totally all gone, along with symptoms that accompany migraines—which can be as debilitating as the pain.

I can’t remember when I’ve felt so good. I’m rejoicing at God’s mercy.

But His question lingers. “Am I sufficient?”

Sunday, we sang Bill and Gloria Gaither’s “Because He lives,” including the line, “Life is worth the living, just because He lives.”  As we sang, I thought, “But do we mean it?”

God not only lives. He chose us, loves us, protects us, provides for us, and will never leave us.

He said, “I am with you always, even to the end of the age (Mt. 28:20), and “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9).

Is life worth the living just because He lives? Is God sufficient?

The question remains and is valid for all who know Him. Do you know His love? Is it enough in your busy life? Would it be sufficient if He was all you knew?

Is God enough for you? Are you be content in His love?