How to Stay Hopeful When Things Seem Helpless

Do you know someone who is on the path to destruction? Someone making the wrong choices in life and unwilling to listen to counsel—or unable to overcome addiction so they can make reasoned choices.

It’s heartbreaking to watch them self-destruct. If you’re close to the situation, you feel helpless as you watch and can do nothing to halt their steady decline.

We celebrate the fact that God gives us free will . . . until we want to take control of someone we love in order to rescue them from self-destruction. All efforts are futile. There’s nothing you can do if that person doesn’t choose to listen.

Nothing but pray, seeking God’s mercy and intervention.

There are many situations where you are helpless to fix the problem, times of sickness, financial stress, relational problems, and more. Times when you’re easily overwhelmed by the circumstances and find it difficult to keep going.

If you aren’t careful, it can affect you too. As you grieve your loss—of hopes, dreams, relationship, productivity, even life–it robs you of peace and joy. If you let it, you’ll be pulled into the vortex of the difficulty.

If you remain focused on the problem, trying to figure out what you can do and how you can help, the darkness of helplessness and hopelessness will engulf you.

Jesus said, “if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matt. 6:23). That’s what the enemy wants, for us to lose sight of the Light and walk in darkness.

Don’t let the enemy pull you down. Several simple steps will help you live in victory, even in the midst of the trial.

Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12), and the source of our light (Eph 5:14). Furthermore, He called us out of darkness and into His light (1 Pet. 2:9), and told us to seek Him (Mt. 6:33).

As you seek God, your eyes will be toward the light, allowing your body to be filled with light—with hope, strength, faith, peace. When your soul is weighted down, turn your eyes on Jesus to let the light in and chase away the darkness.

You can’t ignore the problem. It’s too much in your face and/or too deep in your heart. When darkness begins to invade, bringing fear, confusion, helplessness, anger, hopelessness, guilt, or . . ., run to the Light. Gaze into Christ’s marvelous face.

If you want to walk in daily victory, gaze at the Lord and glance at the problem throughout the day. Don’t give the darkness a chance to creep in. Live with you gaze on Him.

God is bigger than any problem that we might face. Give Him all your worries and cares. He has won the victory.

Taking the problem to Jesus doesn’t guarantee it will work out the way you imagine, but He will not leave you (Mt. 28:20). He will not let the burden be greater than you can stand (1 Cor. 10:13), and He will strengthen you for the journey (Ps. 31:24).

Furthermore, you can be confident that when things don’t go your way, it’s because He has purposes that are beyond our understanding (Is:55:9, Rom 8:28). When things seem overwhelming to us, later we can often see how He worked good out of the devastating trial.

Second, remember that God is bigger than the problem. Think of times when He has been faithful in your life—times when He rescued you or when he worked good out of what seemed bad. Think on the times He was faithful in the lives of Bible heroes: David and Goliath, the miracles that freed Israel from Egypt, Daniel in the lion’s den, and so forth. God is sovereign. He has power over all, and He is faithful.

Third, ask the Lord for a rhema. Ask Him to speak to you and listen for His answer through His Word. Read the Bible seeking His Word for you for NOW, the verse or the phrase that jumps off the page and speaks to you, filling you with hope. Then hold onto that Word when your faith begins to falter.

Memorize it so it becomes part of you and will be quick to come to mind. It will be your salvation.

God said, “My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart; for they are life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh” (Prov. 4:20-22).

In one particular relational struggle, God told me, “Don’t return evil for evil, but give a blessing instead, for you were called that you might inherit a blessing” (1Pet. 3:8).

Another time, He said, “Fear not!” (I was terrified of what I imagined for my loved one.), “Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, . . . for I will fight for you, and you will hold your peace” (Ex. 14:13-14). (I was worried sick about how to “fix” the situation, but God told me to be still. When I began to fret, I held onto this verse and God did fight for me. He took care of it.)

Our hope is in the Lord. Not in ourselves. Not in other people. Not in the circumstances. If darkness of helplessness or hopelessness threatens to steal your joy and peace, run to Jesus. He is our hope and the author and finisher of our faith (Heb. 12:2).

“Isaiah says: ‘There shall be a root of Jesse; And He who shall rise to reign over the Gentiles, In Him [Jesus] the Gentiles shall hope.’ Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Rom. 15:12-13).

How to Fight Darkness and Gloom

Image result for image of flashlight shining in dark

This last weekend, in the middle of my morning time with the Lord, the electricity went out in the neighborhood, and I could no longer see to read. My time in the Word was cut short. After prayer, I ate a simple breakfast in dim early morning light coming through the windows.

We were visiting with our daughter and her family, including a married daughter who had come from out of town. We were without electricity for over 6 hours, requiring a complete change in our plans for the day.

It could have been more dramatic. When a nighttime storm takes the power out, suddenly all is totally dark. Strange sounds grow louder and the howling storm more menacing when there is no light to assess the threats and move to other activities.

Sudden darkness invades your life like an enemy, interrupting your evening plans. In total darkness, you can’t see to do anything, not even to get ready for bed.

How do you fight blackness that overpowers your life?

You don’t. It’s futile to try to fight darkness.

Darkness is the absence of light. The only way to overcome it is to add light.

When the lights go out, you cautiously go get a flashlight, feeling along furniture and walls so as not to break something or stub toes. You’re grateful you keep it where it’s handy. With flashlight in hand, you then search for candles and matches,

You don’t even stop to question what to do. When engulfed with darkness, you seek light.

That’s a natural reaction in the physical realm. But what about when our hearts and souls are engulfed in darkness? Why do we act differently when darkness invades the spiritual realm?

Isn’t the welfare of our inner man more critical than the external?

Sometimes soul darkness glides in like the evening gloom slowly settling in, and it takes time to realize we need to turn the lights on. On the other hand, it often descends suddenly, like a storm in the night, with harsh words from someone close, a cancer diagnosis, or the loss of a loved one. It could be news that the job has ended, that you failed the important test, or from a surprise heart attack.

What do you do? What is your automatic reaction?

Common responses include fear, hopelessness, helplessness, panic, and anxiety. You might wring your hands and pace the floor, withdraw and fret, or call a friend to cry or complain?”

But how quick are you to search for the light by looking upward to cry, “Help!”

I recently had a dark day and I couldn’t figure out why my world turned gloomy. That morning, the lights went out and I found myself in darkness that clung to my soul.

For awhile, I wallowed in the gloom. I tried to figure out what my problem was, had a pity party, snapped at my husband a couple of times, and was absolutely miserable. In short, I didn’t even fight the darkness, I groveled in it.

When I realized that I was giving in to it and needed to resist, I fought it for a short while. I tried to pull myself up by my bootstraps, by making choices to be cheerful, to smile, and such. Occasionally, that’s helpful, but it got me nowhere.

Finally, I prayed, asked Robert to pray for me (after apologizing for my short responses earlier), and read some Psalms. The gloom lifted some, but my soul was still heavy. I was on edge, an attitude waiting to happen. Playing worship songs as I tackled jobs that needed to be done helped further, but it took a good night of sleep to fully restore my soul.

Fatigue may have contributed to my darkness, but whatever the cause, that long, gloomy day opened my eyes to the importance of walking in the light. And of seeking the Light, the source of true light.

Jesus is the Light of the world and those who believe in Him do not have to live in darkness (Jn. 12:46). It doesn’t matter what darkness surrounds us or how it came. We don’t have to endure it. The Light of the Lord is brighter.

Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life” (Jn. 8:12). Did you hear that? If we are following Jesus, we shall not walk in darkness!

That’s good news–unless you enjoy wallowing in darkness. Darkness of soul is an indication that your walk needs adjustment.

It isn’t just a matter of walking in darkness. If we follow Him, we can have the light of life in us. The Light can be part of us, enlightening our inner man.

It’s a choice. I certainly didn’t have to wallow in the darkness. I needed to seek the Light and follow Jesus. Somehow, I got off the track.

I’m grateful that when we ask we will receive, and when we seek, we can find Him (Mt. 7:7-8)–IF we follow Him.

In many circumstances, that choice must be made many times a day, but it remains a choice. Sometimes, we also need keep on seeking until we find the path of light, life, and joy. (The verb for seek implies continuing action, “seek and keep on seeking.”)

We need to pursue the Light.

“Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near” (Is. 56:6)—especially if darkness threatens to engulf you.

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Note: I’m speaking to those who are in the midst of a funk, rather than any who are suffering from serious depression. If you are suffering long term or deep depression, while this may help you gain helpful understanding, I recommend that you seek someone who can help you get over the hurdle so you will be able to seek and keep on seeking. Sometimes we can’t work through deeper issues without talking them out or taking medications for a season to help regain chemical balance.

Even in my one day of darkness, I sought help from Robert, telling him, “I know I need Jesus. I need to draw close to Him, but right now, I don’t know how. I need you to pray for me.” Jesus is the Light. He is the answer, but don’t put off asking someone to help you seek Him if you have trouble on your own.

A Simple Secret to Hurry Spring

This time of year, I look for Spring. I’m ready for sunshine and daffodils.

If I’m not careful, short, cold, gloomy days pull me down. When one melancholy day leads to another, motivation and energy drag. Reason fights to stay up and be responsible; to change the mood, but it doesn’t necessarily come easily.

But, I’ve found a secret to fight the blahs. It’s not new and it’s simple, but it works.

Gratefulness is the key. I give thanks.

Sometimes, I start with the simple things. Things like a home, heat, and food in the fridge. That’s quickly followed by health, family, and caring friends. (When health is not so good, there’s always someone I know who is much worse off. Always something to be grateful for.)

Other times, I start with things that really matter. Things like a God who is love and who listens to me. One who is unchanging, faithful, and good all the time. I have a Savior, who gave His life to save my soul. He never leaves me, and guides me day by day. Gazing at Jesus and what He’s done for us leaves no room for gloom.

It doesn’t matter where you start; the list goes on and on. On any day, I have ample reason for Spring in my heart and in my step.

But it’s not quite that simple. There’s more.

Sometimes, mentally listing the things I’m thankful for helps, but doesn’t leave me reflecting the joy of the Lord. I need help to lift my heart over the hump–especially on days that are gloomy from relational problems instead of the weather.

The problem is that it’s possible to list things I’m thankful for without truly being grateful. When I’m really grateful, I bubble up inside and want to tell somebody the good news.

Accordingly, when I share the blessing that I’m thankful for, it multiplies my sense of gratitude. It quickens my joy and brightens my step.

If I’m drooping, whether from winter weather or a difficult situation, I need to count my blessings and then share one or two of them with somebody else. When I give testimony to God’s goodness in my life, it’s transformative.

I get stuck in melancholy because I’m stuck in looking at the circumstances. Verbally praising the Lord for His goodness lifts my eyes to Him, filling me with faith and hope. That’s what lifts my spirits

Spring is not far away. Indeed, “weeping (winter, gloom, suffering, pain) may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Ps. 35:2b, ESV). We can’t hurry the morning much less warmer days and daffodils, but we can hurry the spring in our hearts—and thus in our step.

Lord, help us be a fresh breath of Spring, even when in the midst of Winter.

Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships