I’ve had a busy, stressful few weeks. For years, Robert and I have been care-takers of his elderly father. He was once a hard working, fruitful missionary. In two years, he moved from independent to being totally dependent on others for everything. Recently, weakness, instability, and confusion marked further rapid decline.

It has also increased our responsibility, stress, and fatigue. Our sleep was interrupted nightly, and we had to be alert twenty-four hours a day.

Last Tuesday morning we got a report that he probably wouldn’t last until morning. Family traveled in from other states to be with him. Finally, Wednesday night his hopes were realized when he met his Savior and Lord face to face.

As we waited for the end, our house was filling up with out-of-state relatives. Stress mounted with added responsibilities, decisions, distractions, and commotion. Our relatives pitch in and help and are congenial and considerate. They are a huge blessing and I couldn’t ask for better kin or better help.

I mean, really. I didn’t have to prepare meals, clean, or determine who was going to sleep where. They took care of many of my responsibilities.

But my stress built anyway. Consequently, inwardly I was reacting negatively to their sacrificial service. I wasn’t ugly, but neither was I warm and appreciative. My answers were short. My attitude stank. I wanted to be alone.

I felt I needed space—desperately.

That night, I confessed to my husband—even though he was one of the ones I was reacting to. I could see that my reactions were not realistic, that their service was out of hearts of love, and was also very much needed by me.

I understood and was grateful, but I also reacted negatively—until I confessed.

When I got it off my chest, my whole attitude changed. I became truly grateful and joyful. The Lord’s grace and strength were amazing the rest of the week.

But all I did to turn things around was talk about my struggle. I confessed.

Richard McAfee, a dear pastor and friend, often said, “If you talk it out, you don’t have to act it out.”

It took less than five minutes to talk it out because I already knew I was being unreasonable. But it made all the difference in the world.

Those few minutes changed my attitude. And more. It alerted Robert and he was particularly sensitive and caring the following days. In the midst of a stressful situation, that’s a precious gift.

Without that short conversation with Robert, I would have been tied in knots all weekend. However, because I talked it out, I didn’t have to act it out.

Instead, I was constantly amazed, even overwhelmed by the mercy and grace of God as He gave us strength and provided through loving family and friends.

Sometimes, the easiest way to solve relational problems is to nip them in the bud before they develop. Bringing internal struggles to the surface allows you to sort them out before they are expressed in cutting words or a disastrous explosion.

If you see trouble coming, you don’t have to act it out. Instead, look for an opportunity to talk it out.