There is Hope for Overcoming Anger–Notes from Inmates
In September of 2013, I recorded answers from inmates on questionnaires about their struggles with anger. Looking back over their responses encouraged me, so I decided to share them with you.
As they studied Uprooting Anger, inmates filled out weekly accountability reports that described anger incidents from the previous week and how they dealt with them. At the beginning of the study, most had weekly struggles with anger. Now, at the end, many reported “no anger this week” for several weeks in a row.
These men are being transformed. Even behind prison walls, people can gain freedom from anger. Furthermore, I noticed some patterns in their responses.
A few, even at the end of the study, say that the root of their problem is what someone else did. Those who blame someone else rather than take personal responsibility continued to record struggles until the end. (I didn’t include their responses.)
On the other hand, those who recognized that the root of the problem was something within themselves, more often reported they were anger-free.
Below is a sampling of responses from those whose lives are changing.
Roots of anger—reasons they reported for why they got mad:
- “Pride,” “self-centeredness,” “My self,”
- “Selfishness,” “Not getting my way.”
- “Not letting go of hurts,” “tired.”
Further comments:
- “No real issue this week. Could this be working??”
- “Had no conflicts this week” … “I practiced what I have been learning.”
- “I wanted to say something bad to him.”…“I didn’t say anything ‘cause I was thinking for a change.”
- Trigger: “Buddy pushing my buttons.” Christ-like response: “Walk away and pray.”
- Trigger: “getting the run around” Response: “keep my mouth shut before I make more problem.” Christ-like response to the trigger: “Pray about it.”
Comments that reveal their perception of the source of their victory:
- What I did when triggered: “pray a lot, pray for myself and everybody,” “pray and more prayer”
- “I had a good week last week. It was beautiful.” My response: “Prayer and thanks to God” What I said: “Thank you Jesus for your love.” “No trigger. God was with me.”
- “Praise God this class is working”… “Thanked my Lord.”
- “No trigger this week.” What I said: “Thank you, Lord” What I did: “Praised God.” “God your [sic] so awesome.”
- “No issues” My response: “Praise and give glory to God.” What I said, “Lord, I love you. Thank you for peace.” What I did: “Prayed for more peace” “No trigger: Just thankfulness to God.”
- “I had no anger this week.” My response: “Thank you, Lord” “I wasn’t angry at anyone.” “All things are possible with God.” Root: “My love for God.”
- “I had a good week. Thank God”
- “No anger this week.” “You reap what you sow.”
Uprooting Anger is a Bible study, so it’s not surprising that they recognize that God is the source of their budding freedom from anger. However, as I continued to read their expressions of gratefulness to God, I was struck by how often we forget that He is our source. How much more would we experience the Lord’s grace if we were quicker to express our gratefulness?
The inmates were asked to give a Christ-like response for the time when they were angered that week.
“Christ-like responses” listed:
- “Forgive,” “ let God be God,” “let it go,” “pray”
- “Keep my mouth closed.” “Don’t say anything at all.”
- “Look out for the interests of others as well”
- “Obey the authority set over me.”
- “When you’re asked to go one mile, go two.”
- “Show everybody respect.”
- “Calm down.” “Just stay quiet and get my work done”
- “Put it into God’s hands and pray about it.”
- “I am blessed. I passed on blessings.” (This from behind bars!)
I have been blessed and challenged by their answers.
I pray that these inmates continue in their day-by-day dependence on the Lord for strength, and that they will continue to be transformed into His image.
What have you learned to help conquer angry responses to hard or hurtful situations? When you are angered, do you stop to identify what within you led you to react in anger?
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