Finding Hope in the Midst of Darkness
James* was doing well in his rehab program. His mother, Sue*, was hopeful that this time it would succeed. She was working to tear down the defensive walls she’d erected around her heart, trying to not always be on her guard, always measuring his words and actions. Maybe, just maybe, he could return to a productive life and not have to go to prison. (*Names are changed.)
But the last visit with him was unsettling. James talked and acted strangely. He wasn’t himself. It was reminiscent of the time she had to call the police on him because she feared for her own safety. But he was also kind, gracious, and generous. It didn’t make sense. Uncertainty kept the walls in place that day.
Then the call came. James had acted strangely at work. Details were scarce, but he was in a mental hospital for evaluation. Involuntary admission. Needed clothes. A saw was mentioned. Did he cut himself?
His response didn’t help, “It wasn’t too bad. I wrapped it up and kept working.” But then the cops came and took him away? Sue was left with more questions than answers.
However, within twenty-four hours James was evaluated and released, apparently not deemed a threat to himself or others.
But that was quickly followed by a phone call in which James cursed his mother out. He made it clear—with liberal use of foul language—what a bad person she was and how she’d let him down.
When Sue told James she would hang up if he kept using bad language, he cursed her, snapped, “Don’t worry about it,” and hung up.
A worker at the treatment center heard James’s side of the conversation and confronted him. After their talk, James called to apologize.
It was good he apologized, but it wasn’t convincing. Her conversation with the man who had spoken with him that evening gave further understanding, but she was far from convinced that everything was ok.
She had been questioning how she would know when it was safe to allow him back in her home. Now this happened. I talked with Sue several times throughout the drama with James, and I could see her defenses going back up. And with reason.
Sue is a single mom. Her husband died when James was a baby. After the phone call, she knew she couldn’t allow him to come home or even drive him to WalMart for needed supplies on her next visit. She was afraid to be alone with him.
As we chatted about the situation, about James, his well-being and what it meant for the future, everything seemed uncertain and bleak.
Then, the picture began to change.
In the midst of the darkness, it was mentioned how fortunate it was that the aide heard James rant on the phone and had confronted him immediately. The Lord was good to arrange for someone to hear and confront James, so things could be resolved more quickly.
The worker also said everybody at the center likes James. In addition, he affirmed her words and actions and said she was being a good mom. Furthermore, the Lord confirmed that her perceptions of her son were accurate.
The longer we talked, the more we saw the Lord’s hand in the events that had unfolded. We saw that God had been with Sue. He had her back.
She was not alone. Indeed, God had led her through everything.
I got excited as evidence of the goodness of God unfolded. Likewise, I could hear Sue’s voice change as the light invaded the darkness that surrounded her. Her tone became hopeful, confident, and maybe even a bit excited.
Nothing changed in the situation. Things remained uncertain with James because he was still not himself. The need for caution lingered.
And yet, everything changed, because Sue had hope and confidence. The walls weren’t torn down, but it was not all up to her. Sue was no longer alone in the drama.
Everything changed because our eyes were opened to see that the Lord was with her. She wasn’t alone. God was taking care of her.
Psalm 146:9 says that the Lord supports the fatherless and the widow. Sue knows that verse. It has been a mainstay of hers for years. But she needed to be reminded of it in the midst of the trial.
I share Sue’s story (with permission) because I need to be reminded—and think we all do—that Jesus said He’ll never leave us or forsake us, “so that we [can] confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What shall man do to me?’” (Heb. 13:5-6).
Sometimes a situation catches us off guard because it comes suddenly. Other times, it descends so gradually that we don’t even realize we are walking in darkness.
It doesn’t matter what the situation is, whenever we realize that we are without hope or we have erected walls of defense, we need to ask the Lord to open our eyes to see Him.
The Lord is always our hope and salvation. He is faithful.
If, and when, we waver in the midst of darkness and despair, we need to ask the Lord to open our eyes so we can see His goodness. When we see the Light, hope rises.
“O Israel [Christian], hope in the Lord; for with the Lord there is lovingkindness [covenant faithfulness]” (Ps 130:7a).