Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships

It’s My Problem

I was talking with a friend about being angry at family members and she said, “Ninety-nine percent of the time, I get angry because I’m not getting what I want. It’s my selfishness.”

Wow! What an admission.

I’m afraid she’s right, because I’ve found the same it true for me. I’m not proud of the fact, but I like for life to go my way. When things don’t go the way I expect or want them to, I’m tempted to get anger—and too often I do get angry.

The words of James convince me that we’re not the only ones who get angry because of selfishness, or self-centeredness. James said, “Each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust [desires, self-interest, expectations of how it should be done]. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death (James 1:14-15).

Do you want to be rid of anger? The first step is to admit, “It’s my problem.”

Along with your admission, lay down your rights to have everything go your way. The only one who has a right for things to go his way is the Creator of all. And yet, He loves us enough that He gives us the freedom to make our choices. Learn to do the same with those around you.

When you do get angry, it’s time to die to self, along with expectations and demands that things be done your way.

Repent of self-centeredness and ask God to fill you with His love. His love never fails.

Even when the other person does something wrong, if anger rises up, I need to search my own heart to see if I’m the problem. Is my anger arising because I’m putting my desires above my love for others?

True love seeks the good of the other person. It also leads to joy and peace as well as grace for the moment.

How do you die to self-centeredness and treat others with love?