The Warning Signs of Anger

posted September 16, 2013

When you get angry, does it sneak up on you before you know it? Is it possible that you could be showing anger more often than you realize?

If you want to overcome your anger, it helps to recognize its signs. The actions of the crowd that stoned Stephen, as told in Acts 7, help us see it as it builds. If we can recognize it early, we can take counter measures to avoid conflict.

The Jewish officials became disturbed with what Stephen was saying, and they reacted in anger that escalated until they stoned him to death. Our anger builds in a similar fashion, so we can learn by studying the crowd.

1. The officials gnashed their teeth. (v. 54) We could identify our anger quickly and save a lot of conflict if we became alert to when we clench our teeth—i.e. tense muscles—usually around our face, neck, or fists.
2. Then they cried out with a loud voice. (v. 57) If we heed our tense muscles, we can catch ourselves before our voices become loud, tense, or harsh.
3. Next, the officials covered their ears. (v. 57) One sign of anger is that we are no longer open to hearing what the other person has to say. It becomes impossible to reason with an angry person. The intensity grows, and generally the volume increases as each tries to make himself heard. Sometimes we become silent and shut down.
   Sullen silence expresses anger just as much as yelling, and it can be just as damaging. Either way, we close our ears to others, refusing to listen.
4. The angry crowd rushed on Stephen “with one accord” (v. 57) They saw Stephen as a threat, a problem that needed to be dealt with.
5. They ran him out of the city, (v. 58) When we are angry with others, we “run them out of the city” when we reject them and close our hearts to them. Like the city officials, we don’t plan to do this. It’s by impulse that our spirits close. We can’t maintain an open heart toward someone we are angry with.
6. The the crowd stoned Stephen. (v. 58) Once we indulge the full expression of our anger, it is very difficult to regain control. The anger seems to gain a life of its own, growing stronger and louder.

The angrier we get, the less rational we become, leading to actions we later regret. While we don’t generally go so far as to stone others, our anger is life-threatening to relationships. According to Jesus, it is likened to murder (Matt. 5:20–22).

Listed below are common expressions of anger. Which ones have you demonstrated?
(Do you dare ask for input from your family?)

__ Clenched teeth __ Not listening __ Irritability

__ Rapid breathing __ Raised voice __ Glaring

__ Argumentation __ Clenched fist __ Cursing

__ Silent treatment __ Impatience __ Hurtful words

__ Sarcasm __ High-pitched voice __ Harsh, steely voice

__Name calling __Flushed face __Mocking, ridicule

Physical attack: __ On people __ On surrounding objects

Other: ______________

Any expression of anger is damaging to relationships. Furthermore, if you hold on to anger, it damages you too, and the longer you hold it, the more likely it is to grow out of control.

God tells us to put aside all anger, wrath, and abusive speech (Col. 3:8) because the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God (Jas. 1:20).

Adapted from Uprooting Anger: Destroying the Monster Within, Lesson 3.

What is an early sign that signals you when anger is rising?

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