Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships

How to Conquer Anger When Years of Prayer Have Failed – Part 3

A couple of weeks ago, I received a cry for help from someone, whom I’ll call Mark, who is studying Uprooting Anger. Mark said, “My anger rises to the surface too quickly. I do not choose to be angry anymore. The anger is there immediately.”

To the suggestion to confess his sin to God and seek His help, Mark replied, “I do this daily and have for years regarding anger and bitterness. . . to no avail!”

He shared further frustration and added, “The one thing that keeps me praying. . . God’s way is absolute and always right. The day will come when I am released from my anger.”

Mark’s frustration tears at my heart. His faith inspires me.

I’d like to give answer to him and to others who are unsuccessful in conquering anger.

1. Mark is right. God’s way is absolute and right. His hope and help is Jesus. He transforms us from within. He never asked us to manage our anger. He said to put it aside.

2. Deep wounds, left unhealed, continue to create problems. A deep bruise or a blood clot may not be visible on the skin, but they can cause excruciating pain, especially if they are touched. If somebody bumps the spot, there is an immediate reaction because of pronounced pain.

That is true in the soul and spirit as well as in the body. And yet, we often bury those wounds, pretending they aren’t there. But when someone bumps against them, it hurts and often leads to an angry response. The degree of anger is often not rational, because the present offense was small.

As long as the wound lurks within, anger will be likely every time the deep wound is bumped. If you’ve buried such a wound, in order to overcome anger, you need to identify what caused the deep injury and get healing. If, as a child you were deeply hurt and felt rejected and unloved, and that wound has not healed, today when it seems someone rejects you, it will bump the buried pain of the past.

Ask the Lord to show you a time in your past when you felt the same emotional pain that just led to your anger.

Identify the pain you felt Was it rejection, loneliness, shame, you felt like a failure, or that you’d never be good enough? There are many other emotions that could be triggered, but it’s important to identify what you felt the best you can, and call each emotion by name.

Ask God to heal those emotions. Pray for God to heal each one, using the same words you identified from the past. Pray for God’s healing, washing, and restoration.

If the pain is deep or has been hidden for a long time, you may need a mature Christian to pray with you to help you hear from God, identify the pain, and be healed.

Wash yourself in the Word, mediating on verses that speak God’s truth into your heart. After the Lord heals that area of pain, reinforce the healing with a focus on passages that build a foundation of truth in the area of the deep wound.

The wounds that many people carry are deep, raw, and have been hidden for years. If that is you, you may have to deal with the same incident many times, or for many incidents that reinforced similar emotional pains. Ask the Lord to help you persevere.

He promised that all things work together for good for those who love Him and keep His commandments. He wants to bring you to freedom so you will not have to carry those hurtful memories. You can then help other people come to freedom.

Mark is studying God’s Word to find the roots of his anger. Join him in crying out to God for your freedom.

This is part 3 of a 3 part series. You can learn more at Part 1 and Part 2.

May the Lord strengthen you and give you grace to overcome anger.

Have you experienced freedom from having hidden wounds healed?

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