Perfection, Stress, and a Galloping Horse
I just returned from celebrating a wedding. I was struck with how much planning, time, and effort it takes to make everything perfect for a wedding reception. Such celebrations don’t go off smoothly without a lot of work and attention to detail. And it seems that something always comes up to challenge the peace.
Our event seemed to go off flawlessly, but several times, I was reminded of my mother. A wedding reception is one of those times you want everything to be perfect, and she was somewhat of a perfectionist. As I was growing up, one of the times I was most painfully aware of Mother’s perfectionistic tendency was when she made me dresses.
When it was time to hem them, I’d stand on a chair while she measured from the floor—i.e. the chair seat—to get the hem even. Once it was all pinned up, she’d recheck to see if it was indeed estraight. She’d measure and I’d turn a little to measure the next section. It felt like I’d turn for hours because the hem seemed to change with each turn. It could never be perfect.
Finally, in exasperation, mother would sigh and say, “Oh, go take it off. It’ll never be noticed on a galloping horse.”
I love to see any job done with excellence, but I didn’t pick up perfectionism from my mother. My need to be perfect is tempered by the galloping horse that freed me to go play. When I’m the one responsible for completing a task that drives me to want perfection, it helps to ask myself whether or not I’m working with something on a galloping horse. If it’s a galloping horse incident, it doesn’t have to be perfect.
All our work needs to be done as unto the Lord. Consequently, we need to strive to do our work to please Him. Therefore, excellence is good. However, I wonder if we often destroy relationships as we strain for perfection when it isn’t necessary. Do we want to be perfect just for appearances? Which is priority for the Lord-people or appearances?
How often do we strain important relationships over fleeting events that have little eternal importance? This past weekend, the mother of the bride apologized ahead of time because under stress she sometimes looses it. Therefore, it was a joy to observe her under pressure. Time after time, without having heard her great grandmother mention the galloping horse, she followed the galloping horse principle.
Stress over minor issues would have marred the time together. But, she made the best of the situation when her help canceled at the last minute or she didn’t have the serving spoons or dishes that she intended—or whatever the point at the moment. She focused on the event and the people rather than stressing on the detail that she could no longer fix.
Consequently, the not-so-perfect details faded into the background, and the event was beautiful.
Meanwhile, I was blessed. Furthermore, I’m grateful for the reminder to keep my priorities in line with the Lord’s and to please Him in all that I do. That’s the best way I know to not get caught in the trap of stressing on things that will never be noticed on a galloping horse.
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