When Independence Is a Problem

posted April 28, 2013

Two-year-olds yell, “No! Me do it!”

Teens demand of their parents, “Why can’t I go?”

In a familiar Anacin commercial in the 1960s, a young housewife demanded, “Mother, please! I’d rather do it myself!”

All seek independence. They want to do things their way.

I’ve observed a similar attitude in the elderly. Even when unsteady on their feet, they refuse to use a cane or a walker. An unsteady 93-year-old woman told a friend, “I’m glad we don’t use canes like those old people.

I know a gentleman who holds a cane in his right hand and with his left, he holds onto doorways, furniture, or counters to get extra support as he slowly and cautiously walks from one room to another. He would be much more secure with a walker–but, in spite of many falls, he refuses to use a walker. That is not yet an acceptable option.

We don’t want to admit our weakness. We don’t want to be dependent on something else. And, we want our own way.

Many would say that independence is what made America strong. But, I wonder if its merit has been blown out of proportion.

Independence is thinking or acting for oneself and not being influenced or controlled by others.

Independent people trust themselves and their own opinions to guide their direction and their actions.

In stark contrast, God tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path (Prov. 3:5-6).

1. We are to trust God, not ourselves.
2. We are not to trust our thinking and understanding.
3. We are to let God direct us—in all things—rather than doing whatever we think is best.

The next verse says, “Do not be wise in your own eyes” (Prov. 3:7).

When we are wise in our own eyes, that’s a problem that leads to more problems.

A toddler doesn’t have the experience needed to make wise choices. That’s often true of teens as well. Even our elders can fall and break bones if they insist on maintaining independence.

The independent person is wise in his own eyes. He trusts his own thinking and chooses his own direction. He seeks to be true to self.

It’s good to be independent in the sense that we take responsibility for ourselves and for others under our care. It is also good when it leads us to stand firm in godliness rather than following our peers or our culture.

However, when we begin to trust and follow ourselves rather than trusting God and being loyal to Him, independence has become a problem.

If we want to prosper in life, we need to trust in the Lord and let Him direct our lives.

Question: With our self-centered sin nature, it’s easy to move into problematic independence when we lean on our own understanding rather than seeking God. How do you balance your life so that you are responsible and yet dependent on God?

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