Stop Judging and End the Conflict
Jesus said that if we judge, we will be judged. Furthermore, the degree we judge will set the standard for how much we are judged. That should be consequence enough to keep us all from acting as judge in someone else’s life.
In addition, God is judge. When we judge someone else, we put ourselves over them as if we are their god. As we position ourselves between them and God, it makes it more difficult for them to hear from the Lord. They focus on the one they feel judgment from instead of on God. If the consequence of being judged by a peer is not enough, this should certainly keep us from judging those around us.
But even together, they are not enough. As believers, we keep judging one another.
Recently, I’ve struggled with judging and I keep hearing Christians being judgmental. The Lord’s spotlight is focused on this one area and it seems like we’re in an epidemic.
But it seems that we often aren’t aware of when we have a problem with judgment. They keep having conflict in relationships that were once peaceful and affirming. They live in constant turmoil and can’t figure out why.
I once lived in tumult for several years because I was blind to my judging. When I identified the problem in me, the discord melted away. I want to share from my experience to help others.
But since nobody is asking, I’m reluctant to jump in as judge of their problems and say, “Your problem is that you’re judging the other person—and in the same measure they’re judging you back. You have an evil-for-evil relationship, and it will continue until you quit judging and let God handle them.”
I’m fighting to not judge those whom I feel are being judgmental, but I did learn a few things from that experience. For one, I learned to recognize when I’m judging someone. If you are in ongoing conflict, the following checklist might help.
- Do you have negative, critical thoughts about the way the other person is doing something?
- Do you have thoughts of what they “should” and “ought” to do, or not do?
- Are you afraid of the consequences of their actions and how it will affect you or those you love?
- Do you think of verses that they need to read, so they’ll be convicted, and God will fix them?
- Do you talk about your frustrations about them to a close friend(s)?
- Do you have imaginary talks where you tell them what they need to hear?
- Do you find yourself talking forcefully (or yelling) to them to make them understand your side?
- Do you dread being around them and try to avoid them because you feel judged or because you hate the tension of wanting to “fix” them but needing to keep quiet?
Jesus said, “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log … in your own eye?” (Mt. 7:3) For some reason, we don’t see the log in our own eye. My hope is that this list will help you see your log so you can deal with it, leading to conflict resolution.
Question: How do you avoid judgment when you feel someone is wrong?
You can leave a comment by clicking here.