3 Steps to Anger Resolution
Anyone who has struggled with anger can tell you that they don’t want to manage their anger. Instead, they want resolution. They want to get rid of it. They’ve found that anger management doesn’t work.
Indeed, that’s what God wants too. He tells us “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you (Eph. 4:31).
How do you manage anger if you’ve put it away? More importantly, how do you put anger—in all its forms—away?
In God’s Word, I found answers for how to get rid of anger, instead of managing it.
Three steps to resolve anger.
- Self control.
Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back.” The first step is to control yourself when you do get angry. Once you release your anger, it becomes even more difficult to manage—i.e. you lose your temper. It gets out of control. In contrast, a wise man holds it back.
- Deal with it.
Ephesians 4:31 says that when you are angered, you need to settle it quickly. You should not let the sun go down on your anger. There are specific ways to deal with it.
a. Forgive the person who offended you. This is important. Jesus tells us, “If you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions” (Mt. 6:14-15). Unforgiveness creates a barrier with God as well as with the other person. If we don’t forgive, we won’t have grace to move on because it blocks our relationship with God, the giver of grace.
b. Get rid of bitterness. Bitterness grows out of unforgiveness and creates negative feelings and thoughts. It also blocks the grace of God, and “causes trouble, and by it many [are] defiled” (Heb 12:15). (Uprooting Anger gives clear steps to overcome bitterness if you don’t know how.)
c. Don’t judge others. We cannot see other people’s hearts and motives and are thus unable to judge justly. Psalm 50:6 tells us that “God Himself is judge.” We will not find grace to get rid of anger while we sit on the seat reserved for God.
- Ask God to transform your heart.
a. Cleanse your heart. Ask God to reveal additional areas that are blocking your ability to receive God’s grace. Cry out with David, “Search me, O God, see if there is any wicked way in me” (Ps. 139:23). When you see unrighteousness, deal with it quickly, before you get distracted. (Note: Uprooting Anger not only helps identify different roots of anger, but also gives steps for dealing with them.)
b. Ask the Lord to love through you.
Your love is inadequate, but the living God can love through you.
Love is the ultimate antidote to anger. However, you can’t manufacture it. Such love comes from God. As you get rid of unrighteousness and surrender to Him, He will then transform you and conform you to the image of His Son (Rom. 8:29, See also Rom. 12:2 and 2 Cor. 3:18).
Question: Have you found another path that leads to freedom from anger?
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