Have You Ever Been Irritated by a Blessing?
Have you ever been irritated by something that was meant to be a blessing?
I’m ashamed to confess that such happened to me the other day. I almost got mad over the most ridiculous situation. I’m just grateful for the things I’ve learned about anger that helped me turn it around before I ruined the day.
I had over-exerted the day before and I felt sick from fatigue. In addition, my legs were weak, stiff, and painful. Then, what I planned for lunch suddenly wasn’t going to be thawed in time. I needed a Plan B.
Robert came to the rescue and ran out for a pizza. Meanwhile, I made a salad to go with it, got the table ready, then sat down at the piano to worship while I waited.
Half way through the first song, the phone rang. The receiver was upstairs—way upstairs. In agony, I did my best to race to the phone. The other party hung up just as I picked up. It was Robert, so I called back, but didn’t get him.
As I started down the steps, the other line rang—on the main floor. (We live in the basement and office on the 2nd floor. Robert’s dad, whom we care for, lives on the main floor, and we have separate phone lines.) I struggled to get down the steps only to learn, “Robert’s on the way home.”
I was put out. I was ready and waiting, knowing it’s time for Robert to come home, and he put me through all that just to tell me he’s on the way home! How could he put me through such agony for something so insignificant?
I’m tempted to say I was on the edge of being angry, but if I’m honest, I have to admit I was angry.
Fortunately, I’ve learned to ask myself a few questions.
* Why? Why did I get angry?
__________
Well, my legs hurt and the effort to get to the phone made me feel sick. Besides, I didn’t need to know he was on the way home. I was ready and waiting. In addition, he interrupted my time at the piano.
* Why would he do such a thing? (Get in his shoes and look at it from his perspective.)
______________________________
Ohhh, this one hurt. Robert was being thoughtful of me. First, he rescued me by going for pizza. Then, he called so I could be ready. He didn’t know I was waiting. Neither did he know that my legs weren’t functioning properly that day. In addition, he didn’t know I had failed to bring my phone upstairs. Actually, he may have thought I had my phone with me or was downstairs by it. He didn’t have any idea what trouble he caused me.
* Is the issue something worth wasting anger-energy about?
_______________________
Obviously not—especially since he made the call out of consideration for me. The problem was obviously in me, not with my dear husband that was going out of his way to serve me! My real issue was that I had been inconvenienced. It was my self-centeredness that caused me to get angry.
Less than five minutes passed between the message that he was on his way and when Robert walked through the door. I’m ashamed that I got mad over something so trivial, but I’m grateful to say that by the time he arrived, I was ready to greet him with joy and peace.
Many times anger is over silly, insignificant things. If we use the anger as a signal to check our own hearts for motive and seek to understand where the other person is coming from, we can often put anger behind us immediately. That avoids a lot of interpersonal tension.
It also prevents a seed of unrighteousness from growing in our hearts. We are all self-centered and will thus get angry, but if we deal with it before the sun sets, it doesn’t have to deal us (Eph. 3:27).
We’re often told to wait before we speak when we’re angered. That is a good thing, but using that waiting time to deal with the anger is even more affective. If we can see why we’re angry and put it away, we’ll be free to interact in love, joy, and peace.
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