A Key to Contentment When You Can’t Have Your Way
In 2001, we moved in with my in-laws for a short time. I was no longer mistress of the kitchen. Instead, I served another, trying to lighten her load as she prepared meals for me. It sounds like a dream vacation, but I found myself increasingly frustrated with the choices of foods and with how they were prepared. In order to honor another, I was forced to die to my desires.
But I had one problem. They didn’t die easily.
I kept telling myself “This is temporary, I’ll have my own kitchen soon,” but every time I sat down to a meal that was not of my choosing, the irritation reappeared. For awhile, it helped to remind myself that a meal is soon over, and what I eat today won’t matter tomorrow—much less next week. However, as dissatisfaction returned day after day, my reaction also increased.
While trying to act gracious, I became increasingly upset—even angry—over not having control over what we ate. I realized I didn’t have a right to always get my way, but that only served to highlight my self-centered nature and make me feel guilty.
What finally changed my outlook was the realization that my situation was a gift. It was an opportunity to choose eternal blessings over fleeting, temporal ones. A gift from God to form me into His image.
Truly, what you eat at a meal is fleeting. Many meals last only 20 or 30 minutes. In addition, if you have enough to eat, an hour later—unless you have an allergy or are sensitive to particular foods—it really doesn’t matter what you ate.
In contrast, learning to be content and to be grateful has eternal significance.
Embracing the Lord’s agenda to make me more godly helped me learn to be grateful for the food and for the one who planned and prepared it. Sometimes it took a daily decision to be thankful, but the act of making a choice turned my eyes and mind to the Lord.
I needed His help to die to self and self’s desires. In time, He took away my anger and made me content with what I had.
I have my own kitchen now, so what’s on my plate is no longer an issue. However, I’ve found that the lesson was generalized. I’m more content and grateful in other areas as well.
In James 1:2-4 we’re told to rejoice in various trials. I admit that not getting what I want to eat is very minor as trials go, but it was big enough that it was making me angry. It was a test of my faith and I failed as long as I looked at my plate instead of at my God.
However, when I chose to cooperate with the Lord and cried out to Him, He did something I wasn’t able to do. He transformed my heart.
Occasionally I’m still faced with situations where I’m tempted to be upset because I’m not getting my way. However, now my irritation is like a red flag to get my attention so I’ll stop and take note. Most of the time, the thing that irritates me is a temporal issue, one that won’t matter tomorrow, much less in eternity.
I’m grateful God does not give up, but continues to put problems in my path. Without those trials, how could my endurance increase until it has its perfect result? After all, some day I’d like to be “perfect, complete, and lacking in nothing” (Jas.1:2-4).
“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4 NAS).
Learn about more roots of anger and how to overcome them in Uprooting Anger: Destroying the Monster Within.
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