Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships

I Used to Have a Problem

“I used to have a problem with anger,” the man said. We meet a lot of people as we promote Uprooting Anger. A few of them actually admit they have a problem with anger. Fewer still declare that they have overcome their anger.

If someone tells me they USE to have a problem, I always ask, “What did you do to get free?”

The first person that told me he’d overcome anger was a former inmate. Frankly, I doubted that he was free from anger’s bondage. At first I thought that he was teasing, but his eyes looked told me otherwise. They looked serious. Then I wondered if he was being realistic in his self-assessment. I’ll never forget his response when I asked how he found freedom.

He said, “I started living with gentle people.” What? That’s too simple. I asked him to repeat it to be sure I understood. He said the same thing again.

I asked him to tell me the rest of the story, to explain how God used gentle people. He said, “When I started living with gentle people, I got over my anger.” End of story. Later, I saw him with his wife and she said the same thing—with no further explanation. He married into her gentle family. Just by living in their midst, he overcame his bondage to anger.

I was reminded of Proverbs 15:11, “A gentle answer turns away wrath.” I’m very familiar with that verse. I once cross-stitched it and put it on my refrigerator as a reminder. Through that verse I learned that when I responded with anger, the tensions escalated. However, if I countered with gentleness, anger was avoided. Nevertheless, it was a revolutionary thought that someone could overcome anger simply by living among gentle people.

The man didn’t even have an explanation of what he’d done to work on anger in his new environment. He simply knew that while living among gentle people, he was transformed by God.

Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that the Lord can use it as a tool to help those we love turn from anger. If we are gentle because the Spirit of God is active in our hearts, those around will influenced by His power.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but, a gentle lifestyle can be used to transform a life.

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