It Takes a Pot
Quarreling is common among children. Years ago, when quarrels turned to name calling—or tattling—it was common to hear the retort, “It takes a pot to call a kettle black.” It brought to mind pictures of early America houses with black cast iron pots and kettles hanging in the fireplace.
The pots and pans—uh, kettles—in our house weren’t black, but I got the picture. I knew it meant the same thing as “It takes one to know one.” I also understood not to call someone a liar, because that phrase might be used to insinuate that I was a liar too. Some things are better left unsaid—even if they are true.
I’ve come to see there seems to be some truth to that saying. Have you ever noticed that when politicians are hurdling insults at their opponents, the same charges are usually fitting for the accuser? It always brings to mind pots calling kettles black.
I’ve seen the same between couples. For an example, she gets upset because he’s not sensitive to her needs and only thinks about himself. However, she’s so focused on her own needs and his failure to meet them, that she’s blind and deaf to what he says. She doesn’t realize she’s doing exactly what she’s accusing him of. Naturally, he shuts down because she’s only thinking of herself. The circle gets so vicious you can’t tell which is the pot and which the kettle.
If you don’t like to be part of such vicious cycles, it’s simple enough to stop it. Just remember that it takes a pot to call a kettle black, or it takes one to know one. If the kettle you have to deal with is looking black to you, take a minute to look in the mirror and see what you find. Be real sure a black pot isn’t staring back at you. I can just about guarantee that if you’ll polish up the pot until it shines, the kettle won’t look quite so black any more. Polishing the pot before calling the kettle black avoids a lot conflict.
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