Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships

One Simple Step to a Lasting, Happy Relationship

If the books and articles written on how to have a long, happy marriage were gathered in one place, they could fill a library. However, if the wisdom in all those words were brought down to the simplest component, it could be summed up in a word.

But there are two problems with that word. First, we don’t understand what it means. Second, it is too expensive for most of us. We aren’t willing to pay the price.

That one word is love. We use it every day and we think we know what it means, but our understanding is drawn from our culture. True love isn’t hearts, valentines, chocolates, teddy bears, and flowers—or even diamond rings.

Neither is it the flutter of your heart when someone special comes in the room. Nor is true love the feeling of joy and fulfillment that comes when you’ve found the person of your dreams. All those things are nice, and they may be expressions of love, but they don’t define what it is.

True love is costly. When you have true love, you place the needs and desires of the other person above your own. Love lays its life down for the other person—and that doesn’t mean just in times of great danger. On a daily basis, true love is concerned about the other person, not with self.

True love:

  • Is patient and kind—even when the object of its love is slow, disagreeable, or unkind.
  • Is humble, seeking to build up others rather than bragging about its own deeds.
  • Doesn’t insist on its own way.
  • Doesn’t think bad of others.
  • Is always courteous.
  • Is not irritable, resentful, or self-centered.
  • Does not keep track of wrongs suffered.
  • Doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth.
  • Is supportive in every situation.
  • Believes and hopes for the best.
  • Endures all things.
  • Never fails. Like the Everready Bunny it keeps on keeping on, choosing others over self.

The love pictured in today’s culture is selfish, seeking self-fulfillment. True love is expensive because it asks us to die to self and put someone else first, seeking fulfillment for the other person. But the rewards are worth the sacrifice.

You want a Happy Relationship that will last into your elder years? The more you’re able to love someone with this type of love, the more love you will receive in return—leading to self-fulfillment and a long, happy relationship with the object of your love.

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