Dealing with Tension and Strife
Little differences or misunderstandings—not major life-changing matters—cause much of the tension and strife in most relationships. Even if it’s over a little issue, if we feel pushed, we tend to push back. Suddenly, the relationship is tense, with each fighting to win.
Once opposing sides are taken, it’s hard to back down and concede. We feel compelled to uphold our position, as if our reputation depended on it.
Indeed, for those who witness the interaction, our reputation is affected—but not for the good. It is more obvious to outsiders how petty a striving point is. They can see how foolish it was to let tensions build in the first place.
Because of our instinctive nature to want to be right, it takes more courage to stop the argument than to finish it. Consequently, the one who ends strife peacefully is the one who gains respect.
According to Proverbs 20:3, “It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel.”
If we desire peace, it would behoove us to stop and ask ourselves, “Which is more important, winning my point, or the relationship?”
If winning the point is important, you can keep pushing—but there might be a more effective way to win. If the relationship is more important, it really is honorable to stop striving. It’s more peaceful too.
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