Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships

Three Problems with Loving Your Neighbor

The most familiar commands are probably the most profound—as well as the ones we most need to hear. And to head.

Since childhood, I’ve often heard, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

It’s so familiar that it’s easy to pass it by. After all, I don’t hate my neighbor. In fact, there isn’t anybody in my life that I dislike. Consequently, it’s easy to agree with the command and go on my way.

That’s dangerous. It’s always dangerous to not heed the words of God—especially when they are repeated eight times in the Bible, and the same concept is repeated three more times.

It’s easy to overlook the familiar, but within these simple five words there are three places where we can get tripped up. To me, it is not so simple as it seems to love my neighbor as myself.

  1. Love. Do I really love my neighbor, or simply tolerate him/her? Do I love my neighbor with the same kind of love that Christ has for me?
  2. Your neighbor. I tend to think first of those in my immediate life, but the story of the good Samaritan gives a much bigger definition as to who my neighbor is, and it’s told by Jesus, so it on pretty good authority.
  3. As yourself. This is where I am challenged most, especially when it is linked with the action verb love. Whenever I become frustrated or impatient with other people—whether my husband, another driver, or slow service at the register—it is nearly always because I’m focused on myself. My expectations. My rights. My desires.

My love for others is fine as long as they don’t interfere with my agenda.

Try as I might, I can’t seem to develop the habit of consistently thinking of others before myself. I tell myself that it’s because I see through my eyes and I can’t see through anybody else’s. While that’s true, I’m afraid that the problem is deeper.

It’s really simple. I love myself more than I do my neighbor. Unless I choose otherwise, I want my way, and that leads to tension and strife. It destroys friendship and intimacy.

I’m hopeless lost in Self—except for Jesus Christ. Because He abides in me, His love also lives in me. Sometimes, I see it at work. There are times when the love I have for my neighbor is bigger than me. It’s His love loving through me.

I like that. I like the effect it has on others, and I like the satisfaction I get from it. I want to be like that more. But Self keeps getting in the way.

I have discovered the way to get there, but it seems a slow process. Christ’s love needs to increase within me. I need to decrease so that He might increase.

I think it’s tied in to taking up my cross daily, dying to self, so that He might live through me. I’m willing and I’m wanting, but my Self keeps holding on.

What is your experience? How have you grown in your ability to love your neighbor as yourself? Does Self get in your way, and have you learned away to decrease it?

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