Expectations
Our relationships with those close to us are often impacted by the expectations we have of them. Recently, during a short trip, I realized how much expectations influence my outlook of life.
The last weekend in September, we traveled north to southern Indiana for a wedding. As I anticipated the trip, I wished the wedding was a little later so the autumn leaves would be in full color. I consoled myself by reasoning that leaves won’t be pretty this fall anyway, because the summer has been so hot and dry. With brown leaves instead of red and yellow, I won’t miss anything, right?
At home, leaves on the dogwood trees turned brown early and many have already fallen to the grown without turning their familiar bright red. This year, the the big sycamore that dominates our back yard has already lost half its leaves. The ones remaining are dull green with a dreary hint of yellow.
Consequently, I dismissed the hope of pretty scenery and just looked forward to seeing family and a beautiful wedding. I had zero expectations for a beautiful show of color along the road.
However, about thirty miles north of us, there were a few small patches of yellow and then some red. There weren’t many. They weren’t big spots, maybe just a limb on a tree, or a small sumac bush beside the road. But they were, for the most part, bright. Each cluster of color thrilled my heart and brought a smile to my face.
Further up the road, the splashes of color in the treetops increased in frequency and in size. They shone all the brighter because they were nestled in against a background of green and the expected browning leaves. The gray drizzle that fell didn’t even dull their beauty.
I realized after we got home that my discarded hopes had been realized. I didn’t see the hills ablaze with signs of autumn, but my heart had been lifted and satisfied by the splashes I did see.
If I had held expectations and hopes for hills covered with bright color, I would have been sorely disappointed. But I didn’t have any hope for such a display.
Because I had no expectation, my enjoyment of the bits of color was heightened. Each sighting was like receiving a beautiful bouquet—just for me.
After returning home, I was enjoying memories of the trip and several instances came to mind of times when I had had expectations of friends and received less than expected. I was disappointed, even hurt in one incident, because my expectations weren’t met.
In each of those situations, if I had not had expectations, I would not have been let down, and might have even been encouraged.
Consequently, I’ve decided to lay down my expectations of others. Life will have many more pleasant surprises when I’m not looking for them. Likewise, instead of hurt, disappointment, and possibly anger in relationships, I’ll be full of joy and gratefulness for little blessings.
Leaving aside unspoken expectations will make life and relationships brighter and more colorful. I can stand that.
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