The Secret to Maintaining Harmony During Crisis
When stress and fatigue build, relationships are usually strained too. It seems inevitable. However, this week, I’ve experienced the opposite, and it has been refreshing.
On October 12, we returned from a ten-day speaking trip. We were exhausted from time change adjustments, a busy week of speaking, and a thirteen-hour return trip. A day of rest seemed a must.
However, we returned to a 90-year-old father who had fallen backward down the steps and was dependent on us for his care. Consequently, for the past 10 days, our lives have revolved around all-day stays at the hospital.
Hospital vigils are wearing even on the best days. Tending an elderly patient who is confused, in pain, and unable to care for himself or communicate clearly compounds stress and fatigue.
Everything is in place for relationships to be strained and tempers to flare, especially since other responsibilities also demand attention.
However, in the last ten days, instead of tension, the relationship between Robert and me—the only care-givers on the scene—has grown sweeter and more tender. We haven’t been impatient with each other, much less getting short or angry.
Consequently, in the midst of the stress, fatigue, and ongoing uncertainty and demands, life is sweet. I feel secure and loved.
I’d like to say this is normal for our household–that we’re always in harmony in the midst of stress and uncertainty. But it isn’t so. I’m loving the change and have asked myself what is different this time.
I see two reasons why things are going so well between us.
1. We’re more concerned about each other than about ourselves.
To spare me, Robert has taken the brunt of staying at the hospital with his dad all day long every day. I’ve relieved him only when he had responsibilities elsewhere that he needed to take care of.
Likewise, because of my concern for him, I’ve done everything I can to serve him and make his life easier and more pleasant.
In short, we’ve loved each other more than ourselves.
Without a trauma to get our attention, we tend to be more aware of our own needs than the needs of each other. Self-centeredness destroys rapport. Other-centeredness does wonders for a relationship, especially when it’s mutual.
2. We are desperately aware of our need for God.
We need the Lord’s mercy and power for Dad’s healing. We need His strength to be known in our weakness, physically and spiritually. We also require the Lord’s wisdom for the many decisions we face. The list goes on. I think the constant awareness of our dependence on the Lord is the foundational reason we are enjoying each other in the midst of stress.
We often remind each other, “God’s grace is sufficient.” We gain peace as we remember that He is with us and we are not alone.
We are learning to lean on Jesus. I haven’t sung it for years, but recently I find myself constantly singing the chorus “Learning to Lean.”
Jesus is our source of righteousness, peace, and joy. If we lean on Him, we will have harmony in our relationships.
What I don’t understand is why it takes a crisis for me to be cognizant of our total dependence on the Lord. Intellectually, I know that without Him I am nothing, but I don’t always lean on Him throughout the day.
Jesus is with us always, and He wants such fellowship with us. I hope I can make a lifestyle of leaning on Him without needing a crisis to drive me to His side.
Question: How have you learned to walk in awareness of your moment-by-moment dependence on the Lord so that you consciously lean on Him?
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