What to Do if Your Holidays are Not Times of Peace and Joy
Thanksgiving and Christmas are upon us, the season of family, celebration, and joy. It’s also a time of great stress because of busy schedules and tight budgets. When relationships aren’t healthy, disharmony frequently erupts during times of stress, destroying dreams of family fun. Even if relationships are solid, family tension builds as a direct result of holiday stress.
You probably can’t change strained relationships overnight—and you certainly can’t change the other people involved, but there is something you can do to make the holidays more pleasant for yourself—even when the situation doesn’t change.
Focus on the Positive
Choose what you think about concerning the person—or people—that seems to be the center of the tension. In the letter to the Philippians, Paul wrote, “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things (4:8-9).
As you choose to focus on the positive, the negative will fade in importance. However, don’t just think about those things, look for opportunities to tell the person what you find in them that is worthy of praise. Words of appreciation build accord.
As you tell them what you appreciate about them, it will encourage and build them up—and might even help to heal the relationship. Following those verses, Paul tells the Philippians to follow the things they’ve learned from him—such as thinking on whatever is worthy of praise— “and the peace of God will be with you” (Phil 4:9). Having peace during holidays is worth the extra effort of focusing on the positive in those around you.
Give thanks
As you find and focus on the positive, work at being grateful for that person. Paul told the Thessalonians to give thanks in everything. He went on to say that it’s God’s will. (1 Th. 5:18).
I find that when I’m truly grateful for a person, it’s very difficult to be angry at them.
If I’m grateful, it’s easier to overlook their shortcomings. Consequently, there is more peace and joy in my heart. I find peace and rest in the Lord even if the situation doesn’t change. However, it usually translates into greater peace in the relationship.
Both are simple and are commanded in the Word anyway. If the relationship is really strained, it may take time to train your mind to think on the positive things and for your heart to be grateful. But persevere.
It’s Thanksgiving. That’s the time of year when we stop and make time to be grateful. There is no better time to try it. Test God and see what happens if you obey these two commands from a sincere heart.
“When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord. He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him” (Prov. 16:7).
Question: What have you done to bring harmony in family relationship during the holidays? I’d also love to hear what happened when you sought to focus on the positive and be grateful this season.
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