When Letting Go is Hard
Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs in the world. Mentoring too. Both require sacrificial pouring of your life into another person. Both require wisdom beyond your training. And both require taking your hands off, and letting go.
It is the latter that I’d like to speak to, the difficulty of taking your hands off and letting someone else make their own decisions, often leading to undesirable consequences.
The goal of parenting and mentoring is to bring the person to a place of maturity so that they can, and will, wisely make their own choices.
But what do you do if they reach the age, or stage, where they need to make their own decisions, but they haven’t demonstrated the needed level of wisdom yet? What if they make the wrong choices? What if they aren’t secure in their relationship with God yet and aren’t seeking Him?
It’s a fearful thing to watch someone you love make wrong decisions when you know it will lead to bad consequences. It’s hard to stand by and watch them learn the hard way, when if they’ll just listen, you can help them avoid the hurt.
However, the time comes when you have to release the other person. Holding on leads to conflict and strife. They need to choose their way, even if it’s the wrong way.
Moses had the same problem with the children of God. At the end of Deuteronomy, He released Israel to enter the Promised Land. They were still rebels, consistently making wrong choices, but it was time for Israel to be released to their own devises.
It was clear to Moses that God’s chosen people weren’t mature and ready for independence. Rather, in Deuteronomy 31:29, Moses said, “I know that after my death you will act corruptly and turn from the way which I have commanded you; and evil will befall you . . ..”
He knew their faith wasn’t mature enough to sustain them. He knew they would rebel, but at God’s direction, he released them anyway. In essence, God said, “Moses, you’ve done what you can. Now, let them go their own way. Trust me with their future.”
But first, at God’s direction (Deut. 31:19), Moses taught them a song, one that would be a witness to them and call them back to the Lord.
We don’t like to release immature loved ones to their own devises, but sometimes it’s time. Time to trust them into the Lord’s care. In His time, He will bring to their minds the truths that we planted in them.
When it’s time to release our loved ones, if we hold onto them and try to control their lives, it will cause strife and will interfere with God’s plan for them. We need to let go, even if it seems they aren’t ready.
In order to do that, we need to know that we can trust the Lord to hold them. When we are fearful for their well-being, we need to pray, seeking His grace to trust Him. And we need to release them back into God’s hands.
We need show love(sometimes, tough love), but only God can change hearts. We are dependent on Him. He is Savior and Redeemer–for us as we face fears, and for our loved one that we entrust to His care. He is also faithful. We can trust our loved ones to Him.
Have you had to release a loved one into God’s hands before you felt they were mature and ready? Have you seen God work in their hearts as a result?
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