Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships

How to Conquer Anger When Years of Prayer Have Failed – Part 1

This week, I received a cry for help from someone, whom I’ll call Mark, who is on lesson 7 of Uprooting Anger. Mark said, “My anger rises to the surface too quickly. I do not choose to be angry anymore. The anger is there immediately.”

To the suggestion to confess his sin to God and seek His help, Mark replied, “I do this daily and have for years regarding anger and bitterness . . . to no avail!”

He continued to share his frustration that he has failed after years of crying out for help and added, “The one thing that keeps me praying. . . God’s way is absolute and always right. The day will come when I am released from my anger.”

Mark’s faith inspires me. His frustration tears at my heart.

I’ve never met Mark and don’t know his background. Nevertheless, I’d like to answer him and others who identify with him. Even if you feel caught in anger’s grip, you can find freedom.

1. Mark is right. His only hope and help is the Lord. He cannot manage or control his anger. His hope is our savior, deliverer, and redeemer. Jesus transforms our hearts.

2. Anger is the outward expression of deeper problem. It is a secondary emotion, a tool to make you seem bigger and more powerful. But it is counterfeit power.

Look for the root that led to anger. Look within yourself to see what preceded it. Did you get angry because you were self-centered or prideful? Wanting your way? Bitter? Unforgiving? Lustful? Guilty? Wanting to control? Fearful (i.e. not trusting God), etc.

There are many roots of anger. Most are unrighteous. Identify the root, the emotion or motive, the sin that led to anger, and get right with God on that issue.

Ask the Lord to forgive you for (name the sin) and to wash you clean.

Then ask Him to strengthen you to not be (name the sin). Look up Scripture passages about God’s view of that particular sin and see what God says about it.

If you accidentally burn your house down (i.e. get angry), it doesn’t help to work on not burning your next house down if you continue to light matches in the closet. Instead, you need to repent of lighting matches in the closet and commit to not do that again.

If a sinful root leads to anger, it is more productive to focus on the root than on the anger itself.

If, every time you get angry, you take time to deal with the root, you will grow in understanding of why you get angry and will grow in righteousness as the Lord works in your heart.

More Suggestions will be given in the next couple of weeks. Sign up to receive the blog so you won’t miss them. Next week I’ll touch on how God helped me conquer anger. After that I’ll talk about how to find healing when anger stems from deep wounds of the past.

Have you struggled with uncontrollable anger and overcome it? Share with us how you came to freedom.

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