How to Conquer Anger When Years of Prayer Have Failed–Part 2
Last week, I received a cry for help from someone whom I’ll call Mark, who is studying Uprooting Anger. Mark said, “My anger rises to the surface too quickly. … The anger is there immediately.”
Mark said he’d confessed his sin of anger and bitterness and sought God’s help for years, “to no avail.” He added, “The one thing that keeps me praying. . . God’s way is absolute and always right. The day will come when I am released from my anger.”
Out of Mark’s heart cry to conquer anger after year’s praying, I’d like to give a second answer to Mark and to many others who identify with him. Another answer will be in my blog next week, and the first post was last week.
Since I’ve never met Mark, my reply will be general, but these keys have brought freedom to others. The first is important enough that I am repeating it.
1. Victory over anger comes from God.
You cannot manage or control your anger. You can keep a lid on it for a time, but it will erupt. However, through Jesus, you can be transformed. He is your hope and your help. He is the deliverer, Savior, and Lord. The One who gives new life.
2. Quit fighting anger.
You tend to become like what you focus on. Instead of trying to NOT be angry, learn to love. Focus on being patient, kind and good to those around you and being concerned about their needs above your own.
Learn to Love. When you get angry, read 1 Corinthians 13. Through it, do a personal inventory. Go over the love check list and see where your love was lacking. When you got angry, were you being patient? Kind? Not jealous? Not arrogant? Did you seek your own? Allow yourself to be provoked?
Did you take into account a wrong suffered? Rejoice in unrighteousness?
Did you bear all things? Believe all things? Hope all things? Endure all things?
From the list in I Corinthians 13, identify the specific areas where you failed to love.
(I made a list from the chapter to keep in my Bible so an outlined, easy-to-see list was there when I needed it. If you need it closer, you might put it in your wallet or purse to have with you so it’s always handy to check on yourself.)
Confess your failure to God and ask Him to forgive you and wash you clean. It helps to start over with a clean slate, no longer carrying guilt from the past. While you’re at it, ask forgiveness of those whom you hurt or offended while angry.
Ask Him to teach you to love and also for Him to love others through you. As you decrease and His love increases in you, you won’t have to fight anger. Indeed, at times you will be surprised at your responses as you see yourself love in ways that you know is God loving through you.
3. Be patient and persevere. Our God is faithful and He will complete the work He has begun if you trust in Him. Do not lose heart. The old man does not die quickly. But the power and the love of God is stronger than the enemy—and He prevails.
My husband, Robert, struggled with explosive anger and God’s directive to him was to quit fighting anger and learn to love. At first, he was desperate because he realized he didn’t know how to love. The Lord answered his cry for help and showed him a way to understand how love works. He is now a new man. You will gain new insights and hope through his testimony.
May the Lord bless you in your journey.
How have you conquered uncontrolled anger?
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