Where I Find Courage to Face Fear
Many children are beginning a new adventure in life as they enter school for the first time. Some are eager to go so they can be a big boy or girl.
And then, there are the others. Like a friend’s granddaughter.
Chloe’s “first day of preschool” picture was posted on Facebook. She was all dressed up, with a pink backpack strapped on her back. In the picture, she was flanked by classmates in the school’s hallway.
But Chloe wasn’t standing with the others, she was huddled on the linoleum floor, face down, knees tucked under her, with hands covering her face, and forehead on the floor. Like a turtle hiding under a pink shell, she tried her best to hide—to shield herself from the unknown.
But it didn’t help. The thing she dreaded happened anyway. She had to face her first day of preschool.
My first reaction to the picture was, “Awww. Bless her heart.”
My second reaction followed quickly. I saw myself in Chloe’s place.
While in Brazil, there were times when I wanted to hide rather than make a fool of myself trying to make conversation in halting, limited Portuguese. Then there was the time when I hid my face and dug in my heels because I didn’t want to confront a friend. Or the time I put off confessing a shortcoming.
The most recent was when I was given a responsibility that I didn’t think I could handle. When I saw the picture of Chloe huddled on the floor, my thoughts flashed back to that recent moment. That was me. Afraid to face what was before me.
Fear that I’m not up to the task makes me afraid. I know my limitations, and I’m not adventurous. When, it’s up to me and I think I can’t do it, I want to hide my face and block out the world.
For Chloe, things got better after that picture was taken. She survived her first day of preschool just fine. The same is usually true for me too.
In Brazil, I made life-long friends, in spite of my halting speech and limited vocabulary. When I confronted a friend, the friendship was deepened. With confession, my burden was lifted and relationships were strengthened. They all worked out for good, but first I had to move forward.
My secret to finding courage and strength to face fear is in Psalm 37:5, “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it.” The two verbs work together—commit and trust.
Commit the dreaded thing (or your well-being in the dreaded situation) to the Lord and trust Him to carry you through.
When I depend on my own strength, I want to hide. When I commit it to the Lord and trust Him, He does it—while I watch in amazement. My confidence in the Lord’s faithfulness grows as I experience His presence and strength working through me.
And yet, my tendency to pick up the task and do it myself remains. I need to daily remind myself to commit my way to the Lord and to trust Him, not me.
Sometimes, He even prompts my memory. Today He used a picture of Chloe on her first day of preschool. I’m grateful. I needed the reminder.
Do you want to run and hide when you feel inadequate? Where do you find the courage to move on?
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