Smitten
I was smitten. Head over heals in love. I’d never known anyone who was so easy to talk with and who so closely shared my values. A week after our first date, I wrote my sister, “If he’s who I think he is, I’ve found the guy I’m going to marry.”
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In the months that followed, we spent as much time together as we could. Every morning, I waited expectantly for Robert’s whistle from the sidewalk under my window, and I’d rush down to walk to the cafeteria for breakfast together.
After classes, we met for lunch, then went to the library to study (unless one of us had work), and on to supper. We frequently stayed together until the girl’s dorm closed at 10:00. Many nights—whenever the phone on the hall was free—we’d talk until midnight.
Our lives revolved around each other, and yet, we still longed to be closer, for more time together, and to know each other better.
I’ve since realized that our lives were out of balance. The affection was real. (I think it’s safe to say that after almost 50 years of marriage!)
I was attracted to Robert because we prayed together; were faithful, active church members; and discussed what we were reading in the Word. It wasn’t that we turned our backs on God, but our relationship was the center of our lives.
Our focus on each other took precedent over our pursuit of God. We didn’t realize we had made idols of each other, or of our relationship, but that was clearly the number one thing in our lives. And then there was God too.
The Lord is merciful and doesn’t quickly turn His back on us when we get side-tracked, or we would be wasted. Instead, He uses those times to teach us more about Himself.
Lately, while studying idolatry and realizing how easily we allow temporal things to become our focus, I’m reminded of how our lives were consumed with each other. And I see that the Lord desires that kind of intimacy with us. He wants our lives to revolve around Him.
He wants an intimate love-relationship with us. Our heart, soul, strength, mind. Our devotion.
But much of our affection is given to things that are temporal, as is evident in the way we spend our time, attention, energy, and finances. We get distracted by our jobs, material possessions, entertainment, and relationships. Even church work can separate us from our God. And the list goes on.
We don’t necessarily forget the Lord, but if we’re not careful, we’ll push Him aside so He is no longer the center of our lives.
Jesus said that we are to love the Lord God with ALL of our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mk. 12:30). That encompasses much more than Sunday mornings, some quiet time each day, and shot gun prayers as we rush about our day.
God is to be preeminent—numero uno—in our lives. Not just dominant.
He is to be the central focus of our lives, with our identity in Him, and our hearts longing to be closer to Him, know Him better, and be more intimately joined to Him.
Our choices, outlook on life and responses to life should flow from the richness of the love we share with our Lord.
The sons of Korah voiced such longing in Psalm 84:1-2, “How lovely is Your tabernacle, O Lord of hosts! My soul longs, yes, even faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.”
I identify with that cry. I want it too!
But when I have a few minutes, do I run to His tabernacle? Do I run to my prayer closet to commune with Him like I ran to the phone booth when the dorm to talk to Robert when the dorm was locked at night?
Truth be told, not often. That same eagerness for the Lord is not always there.
And yet, Jesus is knocking at my door. He’s calling my name. He’s knocking, just like Robert whistled to invite me to breakfast. I listened with expectancy, eager to begin my day with the one I loved.
Jesus has prepared an intimate meal for two. He said, “If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him and he with Me.”
It’s up to us. First, we need to be tuned to hear His voice.
Then we have a choice. We choose whether to acknowledge the voice. And whether to respond.
Life is demanding. If we’re not listening, we’re likely to not even hear Him.
I’m goal-oriented and like to get finished with whatever I’m working on. Consequently, I sometimes delay opening the door. Sadly, when I delay, I usually miss the opportunity for fellowship.
And it isn’t necessarily over important matters. That activity became important when I chose to put it first.
First. Over my love of the Lord and desire to be with Him.
That hurts. It doesn’t fit with my cry to know Him better. . . . But, isn’t that I do?
Lord, I want to put you first in my life., to be smitten, full of anticipation.
I want to be so hungry to see Your face and so attuned to your voice that you are preeminent and nothing can distract me. Help me, Lord. Make that a reality in my life.
“One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek. That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple” (Ps 27:4).