Do You Love Life and Want Good Days?
Teens from our church bubbled over with stories about their week of summer camp. They spoke of fun, new-found friends, signs of God at work, and how good it felt to be used by Him.
There were also reports of challenges in relating with others. Most of the trouble came from a pack of pre-teens that enjoyed getting a rise from teens. According to the reports, they pulled several unwise stunts, and “they were mouthy.”
We asked our teens how they responded when they were targeted by the trouble makers. I was pleased with the answers we got. However, the reply of a gal I’ll call Morgan thrilled me.
Morgan has a reputation for being a bit mouthy herself. When she added her two bits to the conversation, she got a round of applause. She said, “I’m mouthy too! I could have given it right back at them. I have a big problem with being mouthy, so when they did it to me, I just left. I didn’t say anything.”
Yay, Morgan! I’m so proud of her!
Actually, I’m proud of all of them. It’s mighty tempting to respond in the same attitude with which you’re spoken too—especially when there is a negative attitude behind it. Our kids did great, but for Morgan to turn and walk away—that’s the grace of God at work.
Morgan could have followed her natural instinct and then defended herself by saying she didn’t start the conflict, they need to be put in their place, or somebody needs to straighten them out. Instead, she didn’t need to defend herself, because she made several wise choices.
- She admitted her weakness. She owned her tendency to be mouthy herself.
- She chose not to allow herself freedom of speech in order to avoid responding unrighteously.
- She further resisted the enemy by removing herself from the scene, avoiding the temptation to speak evil.
- Furthermore, because she confessed her weakness, God received the glory and others cheered her on and were encouraged in their walk with God.
Morgan doesn’t want to be mouthy any more. She’s seeking peace, and she made choices that promote peace. She followed Proverbs 26:4, “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him.”
I don’t know the troublemakers, much less what motivated them to try to stir up trouble. What I do know is that one of the quickest ways to de-escalate or derail conflict is to give a gentle answer when challenged (Prov. 15:1). If everything in you wants to respond in anger, it’s probably best to turn and leave the scene.
It’s a choice. We don’t have to be embroiled in conflict. We choose how we respond.
If we choose to reply righteously, we will live in greater peace, but there is also a bonus. The Lord’s eyes (favor) will be on us and He’ll hear our prayers.
His Word says,
“Let him who means to love life and see good days refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking guile. And let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and His ears attend to their prayer, But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” (1Peter 3:10−12) (Psalm 34:13−15 says basically the same thing.)