Quit Fighting Anger
I just returned from a weekend conference in Cincinnati, where I led a workshop on anger, entitled “Help! I’m About to Blow My Top!” Response was good, and I enjoyed meaningful conversation with many people who are plagued by anger and want victory.
However, I continue to be troubled by a reply that I heard repeatedly. When I suggested to the individuals I was talking with that they try to identify within themselves what led to their anger, many times, the immediate—and strong—response was, “I know where the anger is coming from.”
I’d like to speak to that. If you have anger that is simmering under the surface and you know why, do something about it. Anger robs you—and those around you—of peace and joy. It raises your blood pressure, increases risk of stroke and heart attack, and causes other physical damage.
Worse than that, it destroys relationships. When your anger erupts it tears down the things you’re trying to build.
Quit trying to manage your anger. It rarely works, especially long term. When you choose to bury something that bothers you, rather than get angry, you bury it alive and it grows. Then it pops out, when you least expect it. Meanwhile, the simmering pot within is not good for your health and robs you of the freedom to be fully you.
God said the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God (James 1:20), and that we are to put it all away (Eph. 4:31, Col. 3:8). All of it.
Life is brighter, the sky is bluer, and relationships are more peaceful and fulfilling when anger is not lurking under the surface.
If you know where your anger is coming from, quit fighting anger. Continue to use self-control, rather than letting your anger hang out, but put your energies toward dealing with the issues that breed anger.
Many of you said that the problem was hurts of the past. Deep wounds don’t just vanish because you decide they need to. They need to be healed, just like physical wounds need to be healed before pain diminishes.
Each person is different and each situation is different so I’m fearful of sounding simplistic, but Jesus is the great Physician for all of our hurts. Go to Him for healing.
If your wounds are deep enough that you need more help, ask a mature trusted friend to pray for you. Often, you need to revisit the pain in order to give it to God for healing. In that case, you may need a trusted Christian counselor to walk with you through the process.
It doesn’t matter how deep—or how raw—the pain is, God is able to heal it. Sometimes the process isn’t easy, and it may take time, but it is worth it to be able to release the burden.
Jesus will carry it for you, but first, you have to give it to Him. Until you do, other people will continue to bump into your tender spots, stirring up the simmering pot of anger within you.
Jesus died to set you free from bondage of sin and death (Lu. 4:18, Rom 8:2, Gal. 5:1). He wants you to fully enjoy the righteousness, peace, and joy of His kingdom. Part of seeking first the kingdom of God is finding freedom from the bondage of the past so you can enjoy His righteousness.