Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships

Replace Conflict and Strife with Grace and Peace

Is bickering, conflict and strife threatening to destroy your marriage? Your  family? Your job? A close relationship?

Don’t let strife tear apart important relationships.  You can make a difference toward positive change. “Turn away from evil and do good; …seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11).

How? How do you turn from strife and seek peace when conflict erupts in your face?

For years we’ve heard that we need to count to ten before saying anything, but Jesus’ instructions are much more effective. He said, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye”(Mt. 7:5).

It’s natural to focus on what others are doing wrong, but if we get angry at the other person before first searching our own hearts for unrighteousness, we are hypocrites. (Jesus said it, not me.)

When I ask God to show me if there is any unrighteousness in me, He’s always faithful!

Furthermore, I often find that the thing that upsets me about the other person is lurking in my heart as well.

Am I upset because it seems:

  • They are trying to control me? . . . I’m angry because I want to be in control.
  • They are being insensitive and only thinking of themselves? . . . So am I.
  • They are judging me.  . . . I’m guilty of the same.
  • They said something mean. . . . I didn’t say it, but I had mean thoughts too.

Look past your actions. What attitudes are in your heart? Do they reflect the mercy and grace of the Lord? Is your heart in line with the conditions of love listed in 1 Corinthians 13?

The log in your own eye may be ugly. You may find deep issues of unforgiveness, bitterness, and judgment. You may not like it.

But you’ll love the freedom, peace, and joy you get if you take those findings (logs) to the Lord and ask His forgiveness for your own shortcomings.

When you do that, amazing things happen in a relationship that was strained. Most of the time, strife will be avoided. Even if the conflict is not totally settled, you will have a measure of faith and peace in the midst of it. You will have more grace to deal with the other person and the situation.

After all, while taking the log out of your own eye, you’re dealing with unrighteousness in your heart. As you remove the hindrance in your relationship with God, you clear the way to receive more of His grace. As you receive more of His grace, all of life will be richer and sweeter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

(1 Peter 3:11).

How? How do you turn from strife and seek peace when conflict erupts in your face?

For years we’ve heard that we need to count to ten before saying anything, but Jesus’ instructions are much more effective. He said, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye”(Mt. 7:5).

It’s natural to focus on what others are doing wrong, but if we get angry at the other person before first searching our own hearts for unrighteousness, we are hypocrites. (Jesus said it, not me.)

When I ask God to show me if there is any unrighteousness in me, He’s always faithful!

Furthermore, I often find that the thing that upsets me about the other person is lurking in my heart as well.

Am I upset because it seems:

They are trying to control me?  . . . I find I react in angry because I want to be in control.

They are being insensitive and only thinking of themselves? . . . So am I.

They are judging me.  . . . I’m guilty of the same.

They said something mean. . . . Maybe I didn’t say it, but I thought something mean too.

Look past your actions. What attitudes are in your heart? Do they reflect the mercy and grace of the Lord? Is your heart in line with the conditions of love listed in 1 Corinthians 13?

What you find when you identify the log in your own eye may be ugly. You may find deep issues of unforgiveness, bitterness, and judgment. You may not like it.

But you’ll love the freedom, peace, and joy you get if you take those findings to the Lord and ask His forgiveness for your own shortcomings.

When you do that, amazing things happen in a relationship that was strained. Most of the time, strife will be avoided. Even if the conflict is not totally settled, you will have a measure of faith and peace in the midst of it. You will have more grace to deal with the other person and the situation.

After all, by taking the log out of your own eye, you’re dealing with unrighteousness in your heart. As you remove the hindrance in your relationship with God, you clear the way to receive more of His grace. As you receive more of His grace and all of life will be richer and sweeter.