“Nobody should have control of another person the way that man took control over my life.” The conviction in Alex’s voice left no doubt that she was right.
Alex Otte was talking about the man that ran into her on July 2, 2007, when she was 13 years old. It was the end of a celebration day at the lake. Alex was on a jet ski, ready to ready to turn into the dock when she saw the boat speeding toward her. Following lake etiquette, she sat still, giving the boat clear passage on either side of her.
Then she watched as the boat came straight at her. It ran up her body, split the jet ski in two, flipped over above her and fell back on top of her.
Alex suffered shaken-baby syndrome causing multiple brain bleeds and was in a coma for two weeks. Her jaw was destroyed, her collarbone broken, her liver split, both femurs shattered, and her lower leg chewed up by the propeller.
She was not expected to live long enough to reach the hospital. And she wouldn’t have without numerous miraculous “coincidences”—such as parents trained in emergency response and trauma care, the transport helicopter was only ten minutes away, an adjacent field allowed the helicopter to land close by, and more.
Once at the hospital and stabilized, Alex was given just 24 hours to live, but she beat all odds. She’s now a sophomore in college and spoke at our Ladies Luncheon on Saturday.
She shared her story of surviving 8 surgeries in 7 days, difficulties of learning to deal with life as an amputee, and lingering short-term memory difficulties from head trauma. In spite of the odds, her determination to live enabled Alex to begin school with her classmates in August, just 2½ months after the accident. She was passionate and powerful as a speaker, but what impacted me most was her response to a question.
When asked what led her, a 13-year-old, to forgive her offender while still in the hospital, Alex answered without hesitation. “Nobody should have control of another person the way that man took control over my life. And I didn’t want him to control me any more. I wanted to live my own life fully. I forgave him so I could move on with my life.”
It was harder for her family to forgive and has been made even more difficult because the drunk who ran into her has never been prosecuted, in spite of the fact that he had a blood alcohol level several times the legal limit.
Alex shared that one family member has still not forgiven him, and “she freaks out about everything. But I don’t have a problem. I am free to live my life.”
I couldn’t help but wonder how many people are not free to live their lives, because they are still controlled by those who’ve hurt them. Sometimes the offender is someone close and their wound is very personal. It could be someone at work, or even nameless people with a different ideology and cultural background.
There are many opportunities in life to be upset, but it’s our choice how we deal with those situations. We can hang onto the hurt and seek justice, or we can forgive so that we can live our lives to the fullest.
Alex is now 19 years old and she mentors other young people who lose limbs, helping them to accept a new way of life. She speaks in schools all across the state. She works with Mothers Against Drunk Drivers (MADD) and is in constant communication with them. She has helped pass a state law concerning drunk drivers and is working with lawyers to craft a law concerning drunk boaters.
She is also a designated driver for many college friends when they choose to drink. All that and more on top of a full college schedule and two part time jobs. Alex said she is grateful for her trial because God is using it for good, and she believes He is not finished with her yet.
Giving up and seeking revenge would have been easy. Instead, Alex is living life to the fullest, because she forgave the man who could have destroyed her. She took control of her life.
Through Alex, I’m confronted with the question, “Who controls your life?”