Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships

What Are You Grieving?

Grief has many faces. The sudden loss of a loved one causes a deep wound and a void that can’t be filled. In contrast, the loss of my mother through fifteen years of Alzheimer’s was a slow, agonizing grief, a heartache that slowly grew deeper until her passing brought relief, mixed with deep loss.

Some grief goes unrecognized, presenting as despair or hopelessness. Life is fine; family is fine; all is well in your little circle. But your heart grows heavy when you hear the news. The world around you doesn’t seem fine at all, and, like Alzheimer’s, it seems to keep getting worse.

That heavy heart is a form of grief.

There is reason to sorrow as immorality increases, hate, violence, and murder abound, God is rejected, and Jesus is mocked at home and abroad. Grief is appropriate.

I want to talk about that kind of grief. Not the kind when a loved one is lost.

Merriam Webster defines grief as a “deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement”

We grieve at the decline in culture, but we shouldn’t be surprised. God warned us it would happen.

Paul told Timothy, “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: for men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power” (2 Tim. 3:1-5a).

We see that manifested in many forms. We are in perilous times, times of self-seeking, self-serving, and self-gratification.

Ezra lived in similar times in the pagan Persian Empire. About sixty years after some Israelites had completed the rebuilding of the temple in Jerusalem, Ezra led another remnant back from captivity, so he could draw God’s children back to the Lord.

He found that the “people of Israel and the priests and the Levites have not separated themselves from the peoples of the lands, with respect to the abominations [of local pagan tribes]. For they have taken some of their daughters as wives for themselves and their sons, so that the holy seed is mixed with the peoples of those lands” (Ezr. 9:1-2).

In response, Ezra tore his clothes, pulled hair from his head and beard, and sat in ashes until evening. He was overwhelmed with grief (Ezra 9:3)

But Ezra was not grieved over the condition of the world. He was concerned about the children of God. They befriended their neighbors upon their return, and then intermarried with them (in disobedience to God), adopting their pagan customs.

It isn’t surprising that unbelievers rejected God and disobeyed Him, walked in immorality, and sacrificed to idols. That didn’t trouble Ezra. What pierced his heart and led him to despair was that the sons of God looked just like the world around them. They were contaminated.

What would Ezra do if he returned today? Would the church look different from the world?

I believe he’d find that many in the church do grieve over the conditions of the culture. There is much hand-wringing and hopelessness as Christians become the objects of derision and attacks.

But, are we concerned over our world changing into one that is unfriendly to us and to our view of life?

Or are we grieved because the body of Christ has embraced the world, thus becoming contaminated and unclean?

Jude knew we would face such. He warned of a time of ungodly lusts and mocking.

But you, beloved, remember the words which were spoken before by the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ: how they told you that there would be mockers in the last time who would walk according to their own ungodly lusts” (Jude 1:17-18

Jude goes on to exhort believers, “But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life” (Jude 1:20-21).

Times are perilous. Grief is appropriate. But, if we’re looking out for our own welfare, how are we different from the world?

We’ve been warned and encouraged. Rather than grieving, we need to be building up our faith, praying, as well as seeking the Lord’s love, mercy, and strength to stand.

Ezra prayed deep prayers of confession and repentance for the nation (Ezra 9:5-15). We too need to repent, and to pray for the kingdom of God to come—in His church and on earth.

What do you believe God grieves for today? His church, or the world?

He desires that all be saved, but He’s not surprised by the evil of the world. His grief is for His body. (Mark 6:34)

Use your grief for good. First get right with Him, then He will give grace to stand and will hear your prayers.

 

 

 

Where’s the Joy and Peace in the Midst of Grief?

Christmas is a favorite time of the year as we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Even those who don’t believe in Him celebrate by giving, and see the season is a time of joy and peace.

But for some, it’s not so easy. Peace, joy, and celebration elude them.

I have three close friends who’ve lost their spouses within the last six months. Thanksgiving was difficult. Christmas is already harder without their loved ones in the family circle. We’ll attend another funeral the end of the week and just received news of still another friend’s death.

A father was recently told he had 4 to 5 weeks to live, but he’s bravely embracing the days he has left. How do you celebrate as you look forward to loss? A widowed mother who just learned her son is in jail–likely headed to prison–is wondering about his future while aching to have her family all together for Christmas.

I’m not personally affected in my daily life through any of these losses, but I ache for my friends. Where is Christmas peace and joy in the midst of loss, sorrow, and grief?

The loss and pain are real and can’t be ignored. Traditions and trappings of the season bring back memories when least expected, reviving the ache, reinforcing the sorrow. Grief overshadows all of life.

The experts say it’s good to grieve and that it’s necessary to move through it. If you try to suppress it, it takes longer to move on with life.

But, how do you move on when the joy of the season is offensive to the ache in your heart? How do you embrace joy and peace in the midst of pain and sorrow?

I don’t have an answer. I haven’t lost a spouse, so I can only imagine the depth of the pain. But as I ache with my friends in this joyous season, I am encouraged by familiar phrases from Isaiah 53. It gave me comfort when I heard it a few days ago.

Jesus was a man of sorrows. He was acquainted with grief. “Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows” (Is: 54:3-4).

The verses are familiar, but it comforted me to be reminded that my friends are not alone in their grief. Jesus understands. In fact, God wanted to be sure we know that He not only understands, but He is carrying their griefs and sorrows with them, and with me as I mourn with them.

Those overwhelmed with grief are not alone. Jesus is in the yoke with them, pulling the load.

The Babe whose birth we celebrate willingly took on flesh and entered into the pain and sorrow of this world to redeem us. He understands suffering, loss, and pain. Furthermore. He is Immanuel, God with us. He will never forsake us, especially not in our loneliest, lowest moments.

That doesn’t undo the loss of a loved one, but confidence that Jesus is by our side, carrying the load can bring peace  that passes understanding and even glimpses of joy in the midst of the pain of grief and sorrow.