Christmas Away from Home

See the source image The Christmas of 1968 would be like no other. Snow was out of the question; the temperature soared. Green trees, tile-roof houses, and dust-covered zinnias lined the rutted, dusty road as we traveled to the home in a rural town in central Brazil.

Children played in front of colorful houses, but there were no decorated trees in the windows. It was Christmas Eve, but nothing in the surroundings spoke of Christmas. This scene had nothing in common with home.

Robert’s dad had picked us up in Brazilia and flown us to their town. I drank in sights that were familiar to the one I loved, while wondering what it would See the source image be like to meet the rest of Robert’s family and thinking of my family back home.

It sure didn’t feel like Christmas.

After greetings, hugs, and settling in, I joined the brothers in a quick trip to a store downtown. The cobblestone street was covered with dirt that had washed over it in the rain. Three horse-drawn taxis waited for passengers at the end of the block, but the street was mostly empty.

The store fronts had garage door-like door that were raised, making the stores open to the sidewalks. The shelves mostly held staples, with a couple of small shelves dedicated to a few gift-type items. There were no signs of Christmas. No decorations. No music in the background. Nothing.

I’d finished college exams and was eager for my favorite time of year. But this didn’t feel like Christmas.

After supper, we all went to church for the Christmas Eve service. I couldn’t understand the Portuguese, but excitement was high and fellowship seemed sweet as people greeted each other. A few even went out of their way to speak to me. I mostly smiled and nodded my head in return, occasionally being able to use the few short responses I’d learned.

T See the source image hen the program began. We sang familiar carols–with unfamiliar words, Mary and Joseph walked to Bethlehem, spoke to the inn keeper and were taken to the stable. On the side of the stage, an angel spoke to the shepherds, and then a host of angels sang. And so the story progressed as the shepherds and then the wise men bowed before the baby in the manger.

This was Christmas. One that I understood. The story is the same wherever it’s told and in whatever language is used to tell it.

“God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.” That Son came in the flesh and was born in a manger.

The Father’s love and the birth of that special Son are told and celebrated throughout the world.

That’s what Christmas is all about. Not the snow, decorated stores, houses, or trees. Not even the wrapped and ribboned gifts under the tree, or even the music. Christmas is not about cultural traditions.

Those things might make us merry and bright (as well as stressed and uptight), but lasting peace, joy, and life comes from knowing the Son whose birth we celebrate.

When our focus turns to celebrate Jesus, we’re at home–wherever we are.

Christmas Is for the Kids

Betty decided not to “do” holidays this year. It’s too soon after her husband’s death. She didn’t have the family over for Thanksgiving like they’d always done. It just wouldn’t be the same without John.

Instead, they met at her daughter’s house. John kept coming up in conversations, but his smile and his laugh were missing.

Betty had already told them that she wasn’t doing Christmas either. In fact, she wasn’t even going to decorate, except maybe put the wreath on the front door.

Then a granddaughter appealed. She said, “Gram, can’t we have Christmas at your house? Without Pop, it’s not the same anywhere, but it won’t seem like Christmas if we aren’t together at your house. Can’t we come?”

Image result for image of christmas tree Betty put up a tree and lights in the window. Yes, it’s hard. With John gone, there’s a big hole. It’ll be hard no matter where they gather, but she’ll host the gathering as in years past.

She’s keeping up tradition to bring the family together and ease the loss for her kids.

Love for the kids is propelling her to sacrifice and go beyond her personal comfort. As I’ve prayed for Betty this season, I’ve realized that’s what Christmas is all about.

“God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son” (Jn. 3:16). It was for His kids. Because He loved (loves) them so.

In all their best efforts, God’s children couldn’t measure up, God sent His Son to show them the way to live. More importantly, Jesus made a way for those children to fellowship with the Father for eternity, not just for an annual tradition.

And there’s more. He spread out His arms and expanded the family. Whoever believes in Him is adopted as children. Jesus is the first born of many.

Christmas is about giving that flows from a heart full of love. Sacrificial love, demonstrated when God so loved the world that He gave His Son so that whoever believes in Him can be part of His family.

He gave the greatest gift. For His children. That’s me. And you, if you’ve accepted His gift. Image result for image of children gathered around the manger

Whether your earthly family is intact, or whether, like Betty, your heart is torn because a loved one is missing, I pray that you know the love of the Father who gave His Son so you could be His child and live with Him forever–not just come over to celebrate a special day. May you feel the security, peace, and joy of His embrace throughout this holiday season.

As the saying goes, Jesus is the reason for the season, but God sent us Jesus so we could be His kids.

Where’s the Joy and Peace in the Midst of Grief?

Christmas is a favorite time of the year as we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Even those who don’t believe in Him celebrate by giving, and see the season is a time of joy and peace.

But for some, it’s not so easy. Peace, joy, and celebration elude them.

I have three close friends who’ve lost their spouses within the last six months. Thanksgiving was difficult. Christmas is already harder without their loved ones in the family circle. We’ll attend another funeral the end of the week and just received news of still another friend’s death.

A father was recently told he had 4 to 5 weeks to live, but he’s bravely embracing the days he has left. How do you celebrate as you look forward to loss? A widowed mother who just learned her son is in jail–likely headed to prison–is wondering about his future while aching to have her family all together for Christmas.

I’m not personally affected in my daily life through any of these losses, but I ache for my friends. Where is Christmas peace and joy in the midst of loss, sorrow, and grief?

The loss and pain are real and can’t be ignored. Traditions and trappings of the season bring back memories when least expected, reviving the ache, reinforcing the sorrow. Grief overshadows all of life.

The experts say it’s good to grieve and that it’s necessary to move through it. If you try to suppress it, it takes longer to move on with life.

But, how do you move on when the joy of the season is offensive to the ache in your heart? How do you embrace joy and peace in the midst of pain and sorrow?

I don’t have an answer. I haven’t lost a spouse, so I can only imagine the depth of the pain. But as I ache with my friends in this joyous season, I am encouraged by familiar phrases from Isaiah 53. It gave me comfort when I heard it a few days ago.

Jesus was a man of sorrows. He was acquainted with grief. “Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows” (Is: 54:3-4).

The verses are familiar, but it comforted me to be reminded that my friends are not alone in their grief. Jesus understands. In fact, God wanted to be sure we know that He not only understands, but He is carrying their griefs and sorrows with them, and with me as I mourn with them.

Those overwhelmed with grief are not alone. Jesus is in the yoke with them, pulling the load.

The Babe whose birth we celebrate willingly took on flesh and entered into the pain and sorrow of this world to redeem us. He understands suffering, loss, and pain. Furthermore. He is Immanuel, God with us. He will never forsake us, especially not in our loneliest, lowest moments.

That doesn’t undo the loss of a loved one, but confidence that Jesus is by our side, carrying the load can bring peace that passes understanding and even glimpses of joy in the midst of the pain of grief and sorrow.

Cleaning House for Jesus

When Mary and Joseph arrived in Bethlehem, the city was teaming with travelers. Fortunately, when no rooms were available, the innkeeper let Mary and Joseph stay in the stable. Consequently, when Jesus was born, he had a manger for a bed.

The story is recreated in pageants, nativity displays, and on Christmas cards. It’s a calm, sweet scene as shepherds and wise men gather in the stable, giving allegiance to the babe, with a cow and donkey in the background.

You’ve seen it, but have you stopped to think about that stable? If the inn is full, the stable was certainly full of the traveler’s animals. Animals that aren’t house trained. Birds were likely roosting in the rafters, with chickens under foot.

The stable was far from the idyllic scene that we imagine. With a constant influx of travelers, who knows when it was last shoveled out. The filth and smell must have been terrible. Even the manger was made for feeding animals, not cradling a king. It could never be properly sanitized.

To the best of our knowledge, the stable was not emptied or cleaned for Jesus’ birth. The innkeeper would be busy tending to guests and their animals. Just a chicken on the move would undo any effort made to clean the stable.

It seems so unfitting for a king, especially the King over all kings to be born in the midst of such conditions. Why would God allow His only Son in a place so entirely unsuitable for a baby?

After all, if we’re expecting a special guest, we clean at least the living room, making sure it’s presentable. If a king were scheduled to come, we’d go into hyper-spring-cleaning mode, making sure everything was spotless and in order. We’d also keep the dog and cat out, lest any hairs be left on the furniture.

Our guests get our best. And yet, Jesus was born in a dirty, stinky stable and laid in a rough manger for a bed—a feeding trough that probably had animal slobber on it.

It seems incongruous. A mistake. Inappropriate and out of place.

But is it?

That stable in Bethlehem is a perfect representation of a sinner’s heart. It’s filthy, and it stinks.

Furthermore, there is no way that we can clean up our hearts. No matter how hard we try, the stench remains. We might make commitments to change, then sweep and scrub with all our might, but it’s hopeless. Try as we might, we can’t sanitize our hearts.

But God doesn’t ask us to clean our hearts before He comes. Jesus moves into filthy hearts. He does the clean up that we can’t do. He throws out the filth. He sweeps us clean and makes our hearts as new.

That is, He’ll do it if we open the door and allow Him in. I tend to get out my dust rag and broom and try to clean myself up. But it’s hopeless. My scrubbing and sweeping always fall short.

Too often, I simply forget to invite Him in to do the cleaning. Sometimes, I keep my gaze turned, trying to ignore the filth that is causing the stench. Or, I hesitate to bring it to Him because I’ve become comfortable with the grime and don’t want to clean it up. Sometimes, a particular mess seems too bad to clean up.

But all things are possible for God through Jesus Christ. (Mt. 19:26) As a baby, Jesus came into a filthy stable and was laid in a dirty manger. He lived a sinless life. Then He hung on a cross to carry the filth away, to clean and disinfect all our filthiness.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn. 1:9 NKJ).

“Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Ps. 51:7, 10 NKJ)

A Son Was Given

I helped change our church sign for Christmas. Gathering the letters one at a time, led me to mediate on adoption and on Isaiah 9:6. “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given . . ..”

Many sons are given these days. Mothers who are children themselves aren’t prepared to tackle the full-time demands of a baby or for guiding them into adulthood. They often give their innocent babies up for adoption.

Most of those mothers are torn apart when they make the decision that their baby would be better cared for in a family. There are exceptions, but most give up their infants because they want the best for them. They do it out of love.

Over the years, they track their child’s birthdays, watch other children who are the same age, and dream of what their child looks and acts like. Most continue to hold their babies in their hearts. even though they will never see them again.

Adoption usually brings life and joy to the child and to the family that enfolds it. However, recently, I spoke with a mother who gave up two babies and continues to long for them. With tears in her eyes, she said she was glad she did it, because she knows it’s best for the children.

But it is a sacrifice to give up a child, to release someone who is part of you.

At Christmas, we celebrate the birth of Jesus, the son that our heavenly Father gave up. As I pulled the letters for the sign, I began to think about what it takes to give a son.

The almighty, the perfect Father in whom all wisdom dwells, gave up His son. He is the perfect father, the model for all fathers, but He gave His son.

Furthermore, He didn’t give just any child. He gave His only son, a perfect child, one born without sin. A Son Who had been with Him from eternity, One He knew would please Him in everything.

Two other words in the verse stood out to me, “to us.” “To us a child is born. To us a son is given.”

God gave His Son up—to us! Like many parents today, He was motivated by love. John 3:16 say, “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.”

But, there is a marked difference from us.

God didn’t make the sacrifice because it would be best for His son. He did it because He “so loved” the world. He loved you and me so much that He gave His beloved son to and for us.

That love is deeper than we can imagine. You see, there’s more.

When God gave that baby, born in a lowly manger, to us He knew that the day would come when His precious Son would be despised, rejected, and die a cruel death on a cross. God sent His perfect son to suffer a terrible death at our hands.

And yet, “to us a Son was given.”

Why? A holy God can’t fellowship with sinful man, and He wanted to have a relationship with us, so He provided a way to clean us up. He did it so we can be adopted as his children.

He did it because He loves us.

In return, He simply asks us to love Him in return. He offered his pure, faithful always-with-us love, asking only for our wavering, contaminated love, which is polluted with self-centeredness.

That is something to celebrate! But it is also incomprehensible. We’re not worthy of such a gift.

And yet, God did it. He gave His son to–and for–me and you. Because he loves us so much.

Unto us a Son is given. Seeing this more clearly deepens my desire to know my heavenly Father, to know His love, and to love Him in return.

I desire the same for you. This Christmas, may you and yours be wrapped in God’s perfect love.

How to Have Peace and Joy at Christmas

“Tis the season to be jolly,” or so the Christmas song goes. I enjoy decking the halls, but prefer thinking of Christmas as the season of peace and joy. Jolly is good, but it reminds me of Santa, and I’m not trying to be like Santa. Life is not always jolly.

Jesus is the Prince of Peace, and in Him we can have joy even when we’re not jolly.

However, I’ve already been reminded that Christmas is also the season of clashes in relationships due to stress, tension, and long to-do lists. This year the season is complicated because we are in the midst of transition in our house. As we clean out closets and drawers to move our living space from one part of the house to another, everything is in chaos, and our to-do list involves a lot more than Christmas.

In the last couple of days, I’ve been on the giving and the receiving end of responses that were far from peace and joy, much less jolly. They were impatient and unkind, not the scene pictured on Christmas cards.

A sharp tone is a natural (fleshly) response when additional stress is added to a tense situation. It’s not desirable any time of the year. Jesus said, our “mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart” (Matt. 12:34). Consequently, if we want to avoid harsh words, biting our tongues will have limited effect. We need to tend to our hearts if we want to control our mouths.

Our house isn’t in order yet and we’ve done very little to prepare for Christmas. Yesterday, I finally took the fall decoration off the front door and put out a nativity scene, but our to-do list is still overwhelming. But, in spite of the list, I want to enjoy a season of peace and joy, not one of impatience and strife.

I determined that I have to be pro-active if that desire is fulfilled. I need to deal with my heart daily—and throughout each day. I’m suspicious I’m not the only one with the problem, so I’m sharing my insights on how to “manage” my heart in the midst of stress. So far, they are working.

I realized that as a result of high demands for my time and energy, I’ve been attacking the day in high gear, racing to get everything done. As a result, I’ve charged ahead in my own strength. Consequently, I’ve left God out and have thus missed out on His grace—His strength, joy, and peace. I need to realign my heart so I can receive from Him. I can’t expect to walk in the strength of the Lord while running through life as if everything depends on me.

1. First, I need to acknowledge my problem and confess my stress, sharp voice, sinful nature, inadequacies, doubts, fears, and . . ..

2. I need to submit to God and give Him my day, my stress, my to-do list, and the demanding people around me—i.e. anyone and everyone who requires time and attention can seem like a demand if it is a distraction from our agenda, even if they are gracious about their needs.

3. I need to acknowledge my need and ask for God to work in and through me, to guide my day, direct my path, give me grace. I need to let Him reign in my heart, so He will maintain joy and peace within.

Basically, it’s a matter of letting Jesus back on the throne in my heart. He is the Prince of Peace. Where He reigns, there is peace and joy.

The fruit of His Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22). If I let His Spirit rule in my heart, I shouldn’t have any problem with impatient or harsh responses.

I’d like to hear from you. How do you maintain a pure heart and gracious spirit when under stress?

Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships