Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships

Anger Is Infectious

Michelle had a very rough childhood. In her attempt to escape the pain caused by regular abuse, she began use of alcohol and drugs at the young age of 11. But she couldn’t get rid of her simmering anger.

Michelle became very aggressive. She liked being angry. More specifically, she liked having angry explosions. She said the anger would build and build, and when she exploded, it was a terrific release of inward pressure, almost like a high. She was addicted to anger and the release she experienced when she lashed out.

She has been made new, has overcome her anger, and is a powerful witness to the power and goodness of the Lord.

I asked how she saw that anger was bad and how she got rid of it. Her answer broadened my view of the effects of anger.

Michelle said, “I changed because I saw that anger infected people, not just affected them.”

She added, “And once you do it [infect others through your anger] you can’t take it back.” She likened it to giving someone HIV. Once they’re infected, you can’t take it back.

Studies show that anger is harmful to the person that is angry. It negatively impacts personal happiness and well-being, and relationships with others, as well as spiritual and physical health. Recent studies at Harvard University indicate that an angry outburst even increases the likelihood of having a stroke or heart attack within two hours. Anger affects and infects every area of his or her life, causing destruction that is often unseen.

Anger infects others too, and like the flu, can be spread by simple contact or by an explosion—like a cough or sneeze that spreads germs throughout the room.

Even mild expressions of anger can infect others with, fear, pain, resentment, disrespect, anger, bitterness and more. It leads to stress, confusion, disharmony, and strife. The infection is not limited to the target of the anger. Like a fog, it that settles over everyone within its reach, creating tension, disrespect, and fear of moving forward for fear of escalating the anger. It quashes freedom of speech and dampens interactions and progress—of building relationships, finding understanding, or meeting an agenda. In short, it is very damaging in many ways..

As the intensity of anger rises, infection escalates and can be crippling. Bitterness, a common by-product of living in an angry environment, lingers, spreads, and breeds anger in others. Left unchecked, bitterness and anger spread like an epidemic, infecting all areas of life—and leading to the infection of others.

It’s flu season. We’re constantly being warned to get the flu shot, wash our hands often, and keep our hands away from our faces. We try to avoid flu because it’s debilitating and once it comes in the home, it spreads to the family. We don’t want the flu and we don’t want our loved ones to get it.

We need to take the same precautions with anger, because it is contagious too. Once the infection is loosed, it’s hard to regain control and get rid of it.

The best way to guard against infecting others is to get rid of anger.

If you struggle with anger, you can find freedom in Christ by applying His Word to your life. Uprooting Anger: Destroying the Monster Within will help you identify the roots of your anger and get rid of the infection. You don’t have to be dragged down and be a source of damage to those you love. You can experience victory in Christ!

In the book, you can also find ways to restore relationships that have been damaged by anger. Buy the book now.

 

 

 

How to Have Peace and Joy at Christmas

“Tis the season to be jolly,” or so the Christmas song goes. I enjoy decking the halls, but prefer thinking of Christmas as the season of peace and joy. Jolly is good, but it reminds me of Santa, and I’m not trying to be like Santa. Life is not always jolly.

Jesus is the Prince of Peace, and in Him we can have joy even when we’re not jolly.

However, I’ve already been reminded that Christmas is also the season of clashes in relationships due to stress, tension, and long to-do lists. This year the season is complicated because we are in the midst of transition in our house. As we clean out closets and drawers to move our living space from one part of the house to another, everything is in chaos, and our to-do list involves a lot more than Christmas.

In the last couple of days, I’ve been on the giving and the receiving end of responses that were far from peace and joy, much less jolly. They were impatient and unkind, not the  scene pictured on Christmas cards.

A sharp tone is a natural (fleshly) response when additional stress is added to a tense situation. It’s not desirable any time of the year. Jesus said, our “mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart” (Matt. 12:34). Consequently, if we want to avoid harsh words, biting our tongues will have limited effect. We need to tend to our hearts if we want to control our mouths.

Our house isn’t in order yet and we’ve done very little to prepare for Christmas. Yesterday, I finally took the fall decoration off the front door and put out a nativity scene, but our to-do list is still overwhelming. But, in spite of the list, I want to enjoy a season of peace and joy, not one of impatience and strife.

I determined that I have to be pro-active if that desire is fulfilled. I need to deal with my heart daily—and throughout each day. I’m suspicious I’m not the only one with the problem, so I’m sharing my insights on how to “manage” my heart in the midst of stress. So far, they are working.

I realized that as a result of high demands for my time and energy,  I’ve been attacking the day in high gear, racing to get everything done. As a result, I’ve charged ahead in my own strength. Consequently, I’ve left God out and have thus missed out on His grace—His strength, joy, and peace. I need to realign my heart so I can receive from Him. I can’t expect to walk in the strength of the Lord while running through life as if everything depends on me.

1. First, I need to acknowledge my problem and confess my stress, sharp voice, sinful nature,  inadequacies, doubts, fears, and . . ..

2. I need to submit to God and give Him my day, my stress, my to-do list, and the demanding people around me—i.e. anyone and everyone who requires time and attention can seem like a demand if it is a distraction from our agenda, even if they are gracious about their needs.

3. I need to acknowledge my need and ask for God to work in and through me, to guide my day, direct my path, give me grace. I need to let Him reign in my heart, so He will maintain joy and peace within.

Basically, it’s a matter of letting Jesus back on the throne in my heart. He is the Prince of Peace. Where He reigns, there is peace and joy.

The fruit of His Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22). If I let His Spirit rule in my heart, I shouldn’t have any problem with impatient or harsh responses.

I’d like to hear from you. How do you maintain a pure heart and gracious spirit when under stress?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Holding Onto Thanksgiving

We have just celebrated Thanksgiving. Can I assume that we celebrated by giving thanks?

Did you notice that when you are thankful, it lifts your spirits? Your heart rejoices. It’s hard to have a heart that is full of gratefulness and to also be angry, fearful, anxious, or any of those negative emotions that drag us down.

Gratefulness is wonderful therapy for driving out negative emotions or bad attitudes.

This morning, I read Psalm 104, It begins with “Bless the Lord, Oh my soul! O Lord my God, Thou art very great; Thou art clothed with with splendor and majesty.” The Psalmist then lists mighty things that God does. and how all things are dependent upon Him.

Closing verses move into our response to God, “I will sing to Him,” “I will sing praise to my God,” “let my meditation be pleasing to Him;” and “As for me, I shall be glad in the Lord” (Ps. 105:33, 34).

I was struck by the “I will”s. “I will” indicates decision, a choice. It is my choice whether  I am glad in the Lord and praise Him–even when I am tempted to be angry, fearful, anxious, or (fill in the blank).

Likewise, being thankful is a choice.

The choice begins with a decision on what I look at. When tempted to have a negative emotion, I must first decide what I will focus on. As long as I look at the thing (or person) that I am fearful of, angry at, or . . ., it will be difficult to be thankful or offer praise.

If I chose to look at the Lord and at all He has done and promised to do for those who love Him, fear Him, and/or are faithful to Him, my heart will naturally be filled with praise and thanksgiving.

My heart will rejoice and be glad. It will overflow with praise and thanksgiving.

Celebrating giving thanks is a good thing. But, it is our choice whether or not we  hold onto it all year along.

 

 

 

 

Is Your Old Man Tripping You Up?

Are you tired of fighting anger? Do you think you’re doing pretty well and you suddenly speak harshly and discover attitudes that aren’t pleasing to God—or to you?

That happened to me this week. Twice. The second time, it wasn’t just Robert and me; there were witnesses, making my harsh words all the more grievous to me.

Both times, it was over very minor things, simple misunderstandings in the midst of a lot of stress. Suddenly, an ugly attitude showed itself through harsh, impatient words.

In Ephesians 4:22, we’re told to put off our “former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts.” I put it off, only to have it crop up again. I put on the new, only to find myself doing things I don’t want to do—things from the old self.

This passage holds two keys that helped me see why the old man keeps showing his ugly face.

First, in Greek, the word for put off implies continuing action. It isn’t a do-it-and-it’s-done word. We are to keep putting off the old man. It needs to be done daily, over and over—as in crucify it, “take up your cross daily” (Lu. 9:23). The Lord knew the old man would keep popping up when He told us to put it off. His word to us is to keep on putting it off.

Consequently, we shouldn’t be surprised when we have to put it off again. In fact, we should expect that to be the case. Second, in Ephesians 4:22, we’re told we’re to put off “the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts.” Our clue is in the word lusts. The ugly attitudes, words, and actions grow out of our lusts, the things (including actions and situations) we want for ourselves.

When things aren’t going our way, and we get bent out of shape, it’s because our deceitful lusts are directing our response. We often deceive ourselves into believing that our way is the only way, or the best way. When we have that attitude, the old man arises. We then discount the other person rather than showing respect and listening to him.

If we want peace, we need to regularly put off the old man, to put away old-man conduct. Instead of impatient words, we need to be sensitive to the other person and speak words which are “good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers” (Eph. 4:29).

Jesus said that “the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart” (Matt. 12:34). Therefore, if we want to speak words of life, we need a heart that is new, so we keep putting off the old man. We will then have words of grace for those around us.

I’d like to blame Robert for the little misunderstandings that trip me up, but I need to get rid of my old man before I can point the finger at him.

Tired of Living with an Angry Person?

“I used to have a problem with anger.”

We meet a lot of people as we promote Uprooting Anger. A few admit they have a problem. Fewer claim they have overcome anger.

When the former inmate told me he used to have an anger problem, I asked him, “What did you do to get free?” .

Frankly, I doubted that he was free from anger’s bondage. At first I thought he was joking. He didn’t seem like an angry person, but I wondered if he was unrealistic in his self-assessment.

I’ll never forget his response, “I started living with gentle people.

That’s too simple. I must have misunderstood. I asked him to repeat it, and he said the same thing.

When asked to tell the rest of his story, to explain how God used gentle people, he said, “When I started living with gentle people, I got over my anger.” End of story.

Later, I saw him with his wife and she said the same thing—with no further explanation. He married into her gentle family. Just by living in their midst, he overcame his bondage to anger.

Proverbs 15:11 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath.” I once cross-stitched it, and put it on my refrigerator to help me remember to respond gently to anger.

It works. When I countered with gentleness, tension decreased or vanished.

However, I never dreamed you could overcome anger simply by living among gentle people.

The man didn’t have an explanation of what he’d done to work on anger in his new environment. He simply knew that while living among gentle people, he quit getting angry.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that the Lord can use gentleness as a tool to help those we love turn from anger.

After all, gentleness is fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22). It makes sense that if our gentleness flows from the Spirit of God, those around us will touched by His power.

A gentle answer turns away wrath. Your gentle lifestyle can be used by God to free someone from the bondage of anger.

If you have a problem with anger,  look for gentle people to hang out with.

If gentleness is not your strong suit, ask the Lord for it.

It is a gift of the Spirit, and He delights in giving His children gifts. If you’ve never asked for gentleness, now is a good time.

 

What has God used to help you overcome anger?

 

Is It a Sin to Be Angry at God?

 “Is it a sin to be angry at God?” I sensed that the one who questioned had a personal interest in knowing the answer.

It’s a good question. I don’t believe the Bible states the answer directly, but there are some facts that give clues as to the answer.

  1. God gets angry, so anger itself is not necessarily a sin.
  2. God isn’t intimidated when people get angry at Him.
    1. When Cain got angry at Him for rejecting his sacrifice, God asked, “Why are you angry?” (Gen. 4:5)
    2. When Jonah got angry because God didn’t bring calamity on the Ninevites and when he got angry about the plant drying up, God asked, “Do you have a good reason to be angry?” (Jonah 4:4, 9)
    3. When the Jews became angry at Jesus for healing a man, He asked, “…are you angry with Me because I made an entire man well on the Sabbath? Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.” (John 7:23).
  3. In each situation, God responded to man’s anger with a question. He turned the focus back to the heart of the angry person. Why are you angry? Jesus added a warning which questions the judgment that led to anger.

If we get angry at God, rather than pointing fingers at Him, we need to ask ourselves why we’re angry, and we need to search our hearts to find the answer.

IF the Lord acted unrighteously toward us, we might have a reason to get angry, but that won’t happen. His ways are always righteous, just, and loving. We may not understand the hows and whys, but if the action is from the hand of God, it is good.

Most of the time, we get angry because we’re self-centered instead of God-centered. We react in anger when things aren’t going the way we think they should.

Cain reacted when God didn’t approve of his sacrifice.

Jonah took it personally when his predictions for the destruction of Ninevah didn’t take place. Then he got mad because the vine—which grew supernaturally fast to shade Jonah—wilted. Jonah wasn’t grateful for the shade God had provided; he was just angry when it was gone. His anger grew from his focus on himself and what he wanted rather than on God’s purposes.

Jesus questions about the Jews and their judgment of Him healing on the Sabbath brings the question back to individual heart condition. Which is important, making a man well, or forcing legalities on people that bind them?

Asking, “Is anger against God a sin?” is probably the wrong question to ask. If we are angry at God, we need to ask, “Why am I angry?

Am I angry because I want God to do things my way? Do I have enough faith to let God be God and trust Him with the results when things don’t go my way?”

Asking, “Why am I mad?” offers opportunity to find the real sin in our hearts, the sin of wanting to be god, of wanting things to go our way instead of God’s. The sin of ungratefulness, judgment, or lack of faith. (Or maybe it’s something else.)

As long as we’re angry at Him, our fellowship is broken. Likewise, as long as we harbor sin, our fellowship with Him is broken.

God knows we’re self-centered and that we will get angry. Even if being angry at Him is sin, He isn’t surprised or flustered by it.

Instead, when we become angry at Him, He would probably ask us a question. He probably wants us examine our motives so we can take care of the sin that led us to be angry.

When we take care of the underlying unrighteousness, we will find that the anger is gone and we can once again trust Him and fellowship with Him.

 

 

 

 

How to Choose Your Battles

I began my study with anger thinking I didn’t have a problem with it. I knew I got angry occasionally, but didn’t realize how often or how destructive my ager was. However, when I did a study to help others, I realized that I had a big problem with anger. I had just rationalized it because most of the time it was expressed quietly rather than exploding.

Another thing I learned was that most of the times that I got angry, I thought I was irritated or frustrated—and I was–but those around me experienced anger from me. I discovered that calling anger by a more acceptable name doesn’t make it less destructive.

Looking a little deeper, I realized that much of my anger (frustration, irritation?) was over minor issues that didn’t matter at all. I got irritated over things that weren’t going my way, like having my favorite food ruined by a spice I didn’t like, or having to stop to explain something when I’m ready to run out the door, or a child tracking on the floor, and so forth. Little things.

They are little things that impact my preference or agenda. Maybe they disturb my comfort or sense of well-being—but for how long?

I saw that much of my anger stemmed from my focus on me. I see the world from my eyes, my life, my past, my desires and If I’m not careful, I expect things to go my way. When they don’t, I tend to react.

It’s pointless to waste energy and strain relationships on little things. I needed to choose my battles.

God used James to help me adjust my perspective.

In James 4:14, we’re told that we are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. If I’m just a vapor, how important are those irritations that bother me today and then vanish like a vapor? Are they worth a reaction that can lead to conflict?

Some things matter for eternity. They are worth taking a stand for—but even in important matters, anger is generally not the best approach to get positive results.

Most things that tempt me to anger are just a vapor in my day, much less my life. They aren’t worth the energy spent on anger, much less the tension and conflict that is a likely result.

When angered, it helps me choose my battles if I stop and ask if those irritants matter. If I remember that I am just a vapor, most irritants become insignificant, and the temptation to anger vanishes like a vapor.

 

Don’t Fight Anger Alone

Are you working on anger management so you won’t hurt or offend those you love? That’s good. I’m glad you are sensitive to the damage that anger causes in relationships. I’m also grateful you’re taking responsibility to try to do something about it.

But if you’re trying to manage your anger, I question how much your efforts are helping.

What tactics do you use? Have you made commitments to change? Do you count to ten before you say something in response? Or take a deep breath before proceeding?

None of those are bad. In fact, they might help occasionally, but they all fall short. Your tendency to anger remains and you erupt again.

If anger is destroying your life and relationships, you need to move beyond anger management and work instead to get rid of it. God says to put it away, not manage it (Eph. 4:31).

Putting it away is difficult because anger flows from the heart. In order to put it away, transformation is needed. With anger management, you will see little, if any, real change. Focusing on external tactics deals with external actions, but it fails to change the source of the problem. If your heart remains unchanged, you will grow weary from the struggle.

Heart change comes from God. If you want to overcome bondage to anger, the place to start is to seek God. Seek His salvation and deliverance. Cry out to Him to change your heart.

Then submit to God and cooperate with Him in the process of change. Instead of focusing on not being angry, draw close to the Lord, focus on Him and His Word. Let His strength be known in your weakness (2 Cor. 12:9, Eph. 4:13).

Change your tactics. Instead of fighting anger, work to be more Christ-like.

Some keys to overcome anger:

  1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind and strength. If you are operating out of love for God, your grief when you disappoint the Lord by an angry outburst will motivate you to change. (Mark 12:30)
  2. Love your neighbor as yourself. When you become angry at someone, check your actions and your heart according to 1 Corinthians 13. You’ll find that you fail the love test when you are angry. Love your neighbor (spouse, co-worker, teen, . . .) more, you will become angry less.  (Mark 12:31)
  3. Ask the Lord for self-control. It is a gift of the spirit. Self-control is good, but if it is all by your strength, it will be limited. Seek God to augment your efforts and to build the character quality in you. –Seek transformation, not just help in the moment. This also applies for patience, kindness, goodness, and so forth. (Gal. 5:22)
  4. Don’t return evil for evil. Give a blessing instead. Don’t feed your anger by beating a pillow or screaming in the woods. Instead, use that time to seek God for a way to change the tone of the tense situation. Do something that will bless the other person.  It will bring change in you even if the other person doesn’t mellow. (1 Peter 3:8 and surrounding verses)

You don’t have to fight anger alone. Take courage. The Lord is with you and He will fight for you if you seek Him and His salvation. (Joshua 1:9; Exodus 14:13-14).

 

Uprooting Anger: Destroying the Monster Within offers further help in identifying roots of anger and gives steps toward heart transformation through the power of God.

The Judgment Trap tells how to transform an evil-for-evil relationship by getting rid of the cycle of judgment that entraps you.

 

Replace Conflict and Strife with Grace and Peace

Is bickering, conflict and strife threatening to destroy your marriage? Your  family? Your job? A close relationship?

Don’t let strife tear apart important relationships.  You can make a difference toward positive change. “Turn away from evil and do good; …seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11).

How? How do you turn from strife and seek peace when conflict erupts in your face?

For years we’ve heard that we need to count to ten before saying anything, but Jesus’ instructions are much more effective. He said, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye”(Mt. 7:5).

It’s natural to focus on what others are doing wrong, but if we get angry at the other person before first searching our own hearts for unrighteousness, we are hypocrites. (Jesus said it, not me.)

When I ask God to show me if there is any unrighteousness in me, He’s always faithful!

Furthermore, I often find that the thing that upsets me about the other person is lurking in my heart as well.

Am I upset because it seems:

  • They are trying to control me? . . . I’m angry because I want to be in control.
  • They are being insensitive and only thinking of themselves? . . . So am I.
  • They are judging me.  . . . I’m guilty of the same.
  • They said something mean. . . . I didn’t say it, but I had mean thoughts too.

Look past your actions. What attitudes are in your heart? Do they reflect the mercy and grace of the Lord? Is your heart in line with the conditions of love listed in 1 Corinthians 13?

The log in your own eye may be ugly. You may find deep issues of unforgiveness, bitterness, and judgment. You may not like it.

But you’ll love the freedom, peace, and joy you get if you take those findings (logs) to the Lord and ask His forgiveness for your own shortcomings.

When you do that, amazing things happen in a relationship that was strained. Most of the time, strife will be avoided. Even if the conflict is not totally settled, you will have a measure of faith and peace in the midst of it. You will have more grace to deal with the other person and the situation.

After all, while taking the log out of your own eye, you’re dealing with unrighteousness in your heart. As you remove the hindrance in your relationship with God, you clear the way to receive more of His grace. As you receive more of His grace, all of life will be richer and sweeter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

(1 Peter 3:11).

How? How do you turn from strife and seek peace when conflict erupts in your face?

For years we’ve heard that we need to count to ten before saying anything, but Jesus’ instructions are much more effective. He said, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye”(Mt. 7:5).

It’s natural to focus on what others are doing wrong, but if we get angry at the other person before first searching our own hearts for unrighteousness, we are hypocrites. (Jesus said it, not me.)

When I ask God to show me if there is any unrighteousness in me, He’s always faithful!

Furthermore, I often find that the thing that upsets me about the other person is lurking in my heart as well.

Am I upset because it seems:

They are trying to control me?  . . . I find I react in angry because I want to be in control.

They are being insensitive and only thinking of themselves? . . . So am I.

They are judging me.  . . . I’m guilty of the same.

They said something mean. . . . Maybe I didn’t say it, but I thought something mean too.

Look past your actions. What attitudes are in your heart? Do they reflect the mercy and grace of the Lord? Is your heart in line with the conditions of love listed in 1 Corinthians 13?

What you find when you identify the log in your own eye may be ugly. You may find deep issues of unforgiveness, bitterness, and judgment. You may not like it.

But you’ll love the freedom, peace, and joy you get if you take those findings to the Lord and ask His forgiveness for your own shortcomings.

When you do that, amazing things happen in a relationship that was strained. Most of the time, strife will be avoided. Even if the conflict is not totally settled, you will have a measure of faith and peace in the midst of it. You will have more grace to deal with the other person and the situation.

After all, by taking the log out of your own eye, you’re dealing with unrighteousness in your heart. As you remove the hindrance in your relationship with God, you clear the way to receive more of His grace. As you receive more of His grace and all of life will be richer and sweeter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overcoming an Evil-for-Evil Relationship

Our marriage was punctuated with conflict and strife. What happened to the peace and joy that we had enjoyed for so long? How had the seemingly never-ending sparring match begun? Robert and I no longer trusted each other for good.

The thunderstorm raging outside as I write illustrates what our marriage had become like. Flashes of lightening streak across the sky, followed by crashing thunder and rumblings that roll across the land. Before the rumblings die down, the sky is streaked once again, and claps of thunder reverberate through the house.

Only in our home it was anger that raged, flashed, and exploded. And there was nothing majestic or beautiful about it or about the turmoil, judgment, and pain that reverberated and rumbled on and on.

I felt I was suffocating, caught in a vicious, unrelenting cycle.

An opportunity to house sit for a couple of days for friends gave me a chance to sort through what was happening, seek God, and hope for a moment of peace.

While there, God spoke to me.

He said, “Let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit, not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3:8-9).

I longed for harmony, sympathy, brotherly fellowship, and kindheartedness, but it seemed foreign and impossible to attain—in me or in our relationship. Nevertheless, through these verses the Lord gave me direction.

And hope.

I was too beaten down to embrace much at the moment, but I knew my task. I needed to not return evil for evil or insult for insult. I needed to give a blessing instead.

I had said many hurtful things to Robert. They flowed from the pain within, but I needed to break the pattern and give a blessing when I was tempted to return evil. I didn’t know how to do that, but I clung to it because at least I knew what to do.

Furthermore, I sensed the Lord with me. He spoke to me. God would lead us through the terrible storm.

I was also intrigued and gained hope from the end of the verse. “For you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3:9). I desperately needed God’s blessing. If I understood correctly, I needed to learn to bless instead of insult because God wanted me to be blessed. If I blessed him, I would be blessed—and God’s desire and purpose was to bless me! Those were words of life.

When we sense a negative or evil attitude from someone else, the natural response is to react in the same manner. But that is not God’s way. He is love. His kingdom is righteousness, peace, and joy. As His representatives, we need to give a blessing rather than responding  negatively. Giving a blessing instead will calm the storm.

If you are trapped in an evil-for-evil relationship, giving a blessing is easier said than done. Some days, it feels almost impossible. But you are not alone. Cry out to God for help. In your weakness, draw on His strength, His kindness, His righteousness, His love. He is waiting to be asked.

For us, the storm did pass—just as the storm outside passed as I wrote this. We are experiencing greater harmony, fellowship, and joy now than we ever dreamed was possible before, and certainly during, our stormy years.

Don’t give up. However, instead of fighting your way out of the storm, ask God what you need to do. Let Him lead you to righteousness, peace, and joy.

The Lord showed us that judgment trapped us in turmoil. If you are trapped in an evil-for-evil relationship, learn how to break free through a short, free book, The Judgment Trap.