Robert & Kay Camenisch encouraging and equipping relationships

It’s Hard to Pray . . .

Have you ever been in the middle of family tension—i.e. a fight—just before a meal?

Everybody sits down to an awkward silence because nobody wants to pray. It’s hard to pray in an angry atmosphere, especially if you are part of the ruckus.

When the privilege falls to me, my first reaction is, “I don’t want to—I don’t know what to say.” I feel dry, like a dry creek bed with nothing to flow. Next, I feel guilty because I don’t want to talk with God.

Then I mentally scramble to come up with a meaningful prayer that is sincere. But that’s hard to do until I move beyond my anger–or at least set it aside so I can face God.

Several days after somebody said, “It’s hard to be angry when you’re praying,” somebody told me, “It’s hard to pray when you’re angry.”

Both are true.

Anger erects a wall between us and God, making it difficult to connect with the One who gives life and fellowship.

If it’s hard to talk with God when we’re mad, how does it affect our capacity to receive the grace needed to deal with our anger? Or with the situation that made us mad?

However, when it’s difficult to talk with God, that is precisely the time we most need to do so.

If we go to Him with an open heart, being honest about our struggles, He’ll receive us. In fact, He is our deliverer and strong tower. If we run to Him when we’re in trouble, we’ll move through our struggle much more quickly than if we try to handle it on our own.

Tell the Lord how you feel, and why. Use Him for a dumping ground.

But, listen as you talk. Listen to yourself. And listen to God.

If you’re anything like me, once the steam is released a little, you’ll hear yourself and think, “Oh, that’s not good!” and it will be about something you said or did. Next, you’ll see that your attitudes don’t glorify God. Before you know it, it becomes hard to point fingers at the other person because too many are pointing back home.

I have vivid memories of how I handled anger as a teen. With six of us crowded into a small home, there was no escape when tensions flared, so I’d retreat to the piano. I’d  race through a vigorous, angry piece, tearing up the keys with pent up emotion.

Sometimes I played it twice before moving on to something else that was full of energy. A hymn book offered more selections, and they became more and more mellow, until I closed with  peace in my heart, often playing “Sweet Hour of Prayer.”

I didn’t realize it then, but I believe God was directing me in a time of prayer as I played. He let me blow off steam and then spoke to me through the words of the hymns. It would not have worked to start with “Sweet Hour of Prayer.” I had to dump first, to get out the emotion so I could move beyond it. That’s fine with God. He’s bigger than our rants. He can handle them.

The important thing is to have an open heart so He can also speak to us. As we dump, we need to listen to ourselves, listen to God, and repent for the bad attitudes and actions He shows us.

It is hard to pray when we’re angry, but if we’ll run to Him, He’ll hear us, speak to us, and draw us to Himself. In God’s presence, anger dissipates as we soak in the knowledge of His love, power, and goodness toward us.

Do you find it difficult to pray when you are angry? How do you move back into fellowship with God?